The Simplicity Of Our Infinity ~aarmau fanfic~

~Nightmares~

Aphmau's POV

*Play Song*

"You winced!"

"Please, Ein. Please, my love! If you love me, you'll stop. You're hurting me—"

"DON'T YOU TURN THIS ON ME!" He bellowed. "This was all you. All your fault. You are hurting me! You did this to yourself."

"Okay, Ein. Okay, you're right, baby. Please, I won't do it again. It was a mistake—"

"KATELYN SAW YOU WINCE! SHE SUSPECTS SOMETHING AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!"

No words form, only painful, incoherent sobs. My head rings from his blows and the crying. So much crying. 

"AND DON'T YOU EVER THINK YOU CAN COUNT ON THEM!" He takes a breath, an illusion of restraint. "They don't care about you. Why would they? Why waste the time?"

Ein smacks me so hard that I nearly black out right there. That would've been merciful. In my sleep, at least his abuse isn't real. Those nightmares are just in my head. I can deal with those, but when my mind decides to be cruel—reflect Ein's malice—it shows me my friends. Them getting hurt, because of me.

Those are the worst nights. And when I wake up screaming, Ein will just give me another thing to scream about. 

"You will never rest as long as I'm here...count on that." He raises his bloodied fist once more.

"AAHHH EIN STOP!" I lurch up in Aaron's bed, sweaty and panicked, delving immediately into a habitual sob.

Aaron, who was sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag, shoots up in tandem, swinging his head around the room, trying to find what I was screaming at.

He soon becomes aware there was no one but my nightmares. His wild eyes flutter shut as he rubs the back of his neck, as he probably strained it getting up so fast. 

"Aaron..." My voice breaks. Guilt spears my chest. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep doing this to him.

"Hey," His eyes on my tears as he sits on the edge of the bed cautiously. "Shhhh, darling. You're okay, you're awake." 

He raises his hand as if to touch my cheek, drawing back with hesitancy for a moment—probably unsure what another man's touch will do to me—but I grant him a nod.

He closes the distance, the tips of his fingertips cool against the raging heat of cheek from sobs. I-I lean into his touch, resisting the urge to flinch, as a part of this feels wrong. A part of his touch fills me with disgust at the remembrance of how the last man touched me. But the other part..it felt...comforting. It felt safe. It felt like home. 

"It's just a nightmare," He assures me, adjusting an adventurous strand of hair before pulling back. He offers me a kind smile, but I can see it in his eyes—the worry, the pain, the anger at Ein...the anger at himself.

I hated it...and loved it all in once.

Gods, I want simplicity, to put it candidly. I just want to be a whole girl who could've fallen in love with a whole guy like Aaron, but no...that was the dream. 

And I no longer went to sleep and encountered those. 

I manage a nod in response, using the duvet to stifle my sobs. 

"Aaron?" I ask, sniffling.

"Yes, Aphmau?"

"Could you—" I work my bottom lip, unsure why I'm asking this, just knowing this is what I want. That I could make this choice for myself, as its the only way I think I'll find sleep once more. "Could you—um—sleep with me?"

My question appears to pain him, which isn't my intention. But before I could apologize, he croaks: "You sure?"

"Please." 

I could see it. In the furrowing of his brow and the churning of his ebony eyes, him debating. Finally, he swallows. "Okay."

He makes his way to the other side of the bed, and lies down next to me. 

For a moment, we remain still. As if our sides of the bed were separate and it wouldn't have mattered if Aaron Lycan was lying inches from me or not. The clock ticks, I sniffle. We move at the same time.

I bury myself in his chest, and he wraps his arms around me. It's too quick to regret it, and too good to, anyway

His presence is...unusual. It's tender and comforting, like a muted rain storm as you fall asleep, or freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. 

We fit together like this is all we've been crafted for, two pieces of a puzzle who've finally found each other and refuse to disconnect.t

"Thank you, Aaron."

"For what?"

"For everything you've done. Words—wouldn't do justice for what you've done for me. For being there for me, and for...taking care of Ein."

"You don't have to thank me." He pulls back enough so his gaze met mine, and the affection in his eyes broke me all over again. "I-I just want to see you smile again."

I can't help the gasp that parts my lips. 

"Aph, if you don't mind me asking..." He works his bottom lip, as if trying to find the best way to phrase it. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

He doesn't need to specify, but I just stare at him.

"Why didn't you tell Katelyn?"

No words leave my lips. 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"He said if I did, he'd take me away." I answer before I can stop myself.

I was on a emotional roller coaster.

"And I'd never see you guys again."

Aaron was silent after that, but I could feel it. In the way his muscles tensed, in the way his ebony eyes darkened, the way his jaw ticked. I could feel the icy rage overtake him.

"I-I couldn't risk that. If I couldn't protect myself, I could've at least kept you guys safe. I—"

"My Irene, Aph." My chest ached at the strain on his words. He grips me tighter. "I assure you, no one—absolutely none of us—would've been okay with you putting up with him to keep us safe. None of us."

I shudder at the intensity of his words, but not due to fear, but because of the raw emotion in his statement. In also how terribly right he was.  

"Never again, Aphmau Phoenix." He rumbles. "Never—"

"You can't promise that." I voice that lingering concern. "No one can."

As if he couldn't help himself either, he brushes a soft kiss to my forehead and I tense, whether it be from the trauma or the fact that it was Aaron, I didn't know. "As long as I am breathing, I will do everything—and I mean anything—-to keep you safe. To help you heal." 

The tears gather on their own accord, as he continues. "I—we will all remind you that life can be beautiful. If you think you died, then this is heaven and you've made it. You can smile, Aph. You can laugh. You can breathe. You survived."

Have a nice day my crystals!