tonight was one of those nights
where i would wander around
the house, looking for anything
to distract and put me to sleep.
i was tired of being wide awake.
all my sleepless nights are just
staring into the ceiling with the
cold, darkness embracing me.
and i hated it.
i wanted to sleep when i close
my eyes, but my mind wanders
off to you, and i would just
immediately open them and
refuse to think of anything.
i did not want to think about
the time you left your last note
at the foot of my door.
this heartache settling in my
chest was heavy, and the empty
space beside me on the bed
was colder than ever before.
tonight was one of those nights
where i would question my self-
worth. am i not enough? am i
ugly? am i fat? too skinny? too
talkative? too quiet?
somehow, you managed to bring
all my insecurities into the surface,
and i've buried them for so long
into the ocean. i drowned to kill
them, and yet, in a single breath,
you unleashed them and kissed them
with me.
i want to sleep. please leave me
alone. i'm tired of seeing your
smile in my dreams.
