i have a friend who lies to herself.
she often would ask the twinkling stars if what she is doing is right. she'd sit by her window and take her heart with her, because sometimes, she buries her heart in the ocean (she's tired of getting hurt). she would wait for a response, no matter how long it takes. even if the sun peeks behind the horizon and the moon rests, she'd wait again for the skies to darken to see the moon again, asking: why am i like this? does she hate herself? i do not know, but she's so beautiful.
i have a friend that pushes me away.
she tells me that she loves me, but she pushes me away, kills me with her eyes, and leaves me before i could even talk. sometimes, it feels like i'm standing before the barrel of a gun, waiting for her to pull the trigger. but she has always pulled the trigger; she killed me in ways i couldn't imagine when all i wanted was to love her.
i have a friend who lost himself.
goodness, he was so in love with this girl that it tore him to pieces. he has the heart of an ocean, but i could no longer see the life in his eyes. he's always yelling about how love is the most stupid thing. his shoulders would shake as he curls up in a ball, asking: why does love hurt me so much? when all i wanted was to love her? was love even worth it? then he would ask me if he was worth loving, and i do not know the answer.
these are my friends, and i hope the world will take care of them.
