minus eighteen

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you never needed me.
you never did. i was a 
temporary happiness
that you held onto
when loneliness
became your lover.

you never needed me.
i was just a filler that
you continued to play
with after you're bored.
(then you'll leave and
find something—maybe
someone better.)

but i needed you. i looked
for you all over the corners
of the world, across the
horizon that blurs my eyes,
and to the places that you
left me with your kiss.

i needed you, so i sit here,
writing this because i don't
know where you are. (you
can be here beside me, by
the door, outside my closed
windows. you are everywhere
at once, and i don't believe
in anything anymore.)

i needed you, but you didn't
need me. i guess i was always
the one chasing for you and
fell in love with your poison
on my lips.

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