Breaking Through {JimmyYumaxDeuce}

Chapter 9

Deuce's pov

They wouldn't leave me alone.

None of them would.

I didn't kind most of them but the one that made me wanna break down was him.

Jorel.

The guy I once loved.

The feeling wasn't mutual though.

I thought it was but that changed when he voted me out of the band.

I just wanted to be left alone.

I chucked my phone at the other end of my bunk, sighing in frustration.

After staring at the ceiling for however long it was I grabbed my phone, only seeing a few more cracks than last time.

I looked at my background. A picture of me and Jimmy from the beginning of tour.

I looked so happy but in reality it was all a lie.

Everything was until Jimmy came into my life about ten years ago.

I was genuinely happy when he was around and it's still the same way to this day.

This is where I belong. I belong with Jimmy and I can't screw that up.

Maybe I was truly happy in that photo.

Now that I think about it, I remember that day.

I had almost been late for the tour bus but I wasn't.

Me and Jimmy were sitting outside with beers in one hand and our arms on each other's shoulders.

I had a cigarette between my lips so my smile was a bit awkward.

It was worth it though. Every time I got to see Jimmy smile it was worth it no matter the reason.

He was the happiness I'd been lacking all those years.

How could I not have seen something so obvious?

I climbed out of my bunk, making my way to the lounge.

I slipped on a pair of shoes, getting off the bus.

I pulled out my pack of cigarettes,placing one between my lips as I lit it.

I paced around, taking a long drag of my cig.

I jumped when I hear footsteps approaching, turning around to see Jimmy and my sister walk up with coffee and donuts.

" hey " I said with a slight wave, putting my cigarette between my middle and pointer fingers.

" hey " they both replied in unison, giving small smiles.

" need some help? " I asked, throwing my cigarette on the ground and putting it out with my shoe.

Jimmy nodded, handing me one of the cup trays filled with coffee cups.

I walked up to the bus door, holding it open for them.

I followed them inside and set the cup holder on the small counter in the kitchen.

" thanks " Arina said as she walked by, handing a coffee to Gadjet who was still sitting on the couch.

I didn't bother with grabbing one at the moment so I just made my way back to the recording room.

I sat down in the office chair, turning on my computer and plugging in a pair of headphones.

I opened up the music software we used, looking through some old files.

I had a lot of the old files from Swan Songs on here meaning there were a lot of demos.

I clicked on the folder, looking through the demos and finding one for Black Dahlia.

I decided against playing it because I knew I'd break down.

I exited the file, opening the one for my 2005 ep.

I looked through all the songs, stopping when I got to breaking through.

I clicked on it, becoming lost in the music.

I jumped, yelling when I felt someone put a hand on my shoulder.

I took off the headphones, turning around to see that it was only Jimmy.

"sorry...You scared me.. " I muttered, looking at the floor.

" I see that " he said, chuckling quietly " I just came to check on you. After you helped us carry stuff in you just kinda disappeared so I wanted to make sure you were okay. "

"oh...uh...yeah, I'm fine. " I said, biting my lip.

" You ready for the show tonight? " he asked.

I gave a small nod before turning off the computer and following him out of the recording room.

I ran a hand through my hair, mumbling to myself.

I needed a smoke.

I made my way to the door, slipping on some shoes and bolting outside.

I sat on the ground, my knees to my chest as I held a cigarette between my lips.

I was lost in thought when the door opened and Jimmy stepped out, jogging over to me.

I snapped back to reality when he sat down next to me.

" Aron, are you sure you're alright?   You just seem kinda distant today..in fact you have the past couple days... " Jimmy said in a worried tone.

"yeah...yeah I'm fine....everything's great.. " I mumbled, taking a drag of my cigarette.

" now I know you're lying. What's on your mind? " he asked, pulling me closer to him.

" it's nothing you should be worrying about alright...just personal stuff... " I said almost a little too harshly.

" geez Aron, we used to tell eachother everythijg, what happened? You can't just keep everything bottled up" Jimmy replied.

" it's just....complicated... " I muttered.

" fine. Don't expect me to tell you anything the next time you think something is wrong. " Jimmy said as he got up and went back inside.

Why am I pushing him away?

I could feel tears falling down my cheeks as I looked at the ground.

~

I stood on the stage, microphone in hand.

We were about to end the last song and I was happy but upset at the same time.

I was happy to be able to go back to my bunk and completely break down but I was upset because this was one of the last tour dates we had.

" I am your worst nightmare, I'll get inside your head. See me before. It ends. I am your worst nightmare. Don't worry don't be scared, I'm not going anywhere. "

~

I quickly helped them pack everything up, jogging back to the bus when I was done.

I swung the door open, thankful the bus was empty because I was on the verge of tears.

I swiftly made my way to my bunk, climbing on and curling up into a ball.

I knew it was going to be a long, sleepless night.