hundred letters - harry styles

Letter 27

(I need a trailer! Please comment if you know someone who does them!)

Songs:

Everything Flows - Left Boy

World Up - Little Mix (doesn't really have to do with the chapter, I just like the song)

Dear Daisy,

I just arrived in Madrid, it's so warm and nice here. Dan and I don't share a room, fortunaly to be honest. I really like him but I don't feel like sharing a bed with him, the only person I ever shared anything with was you. I don't feel like giving him the honor.

Anyway, Madrid is definitely a place I'd visit with you. It's so pretty and quite an old city. Tomorrow is the first meeting and we've been told that there's gonna be people from the press interviewing people there and talking about it on TV. Maybe I'll get it right and end up on national television.

I haven't really written a lot lately, I'm quite busy actually. Even though I don't have very much to do during the day, I always end up tired as hell and go to bed immediately. Most days, the second I come to our old flat, I fall asleep within minutes. I know I could call 'our old flat' home but home is where you are which makes heaven my home now. Strange cause I'm quite certain that I'll definitely won't end up in heaven, more like I'm sure I'll go to hell.

Daisy, I've made some resolutions. I know it sounds like a terrible idea and it's not even New Years anymore but when I was in bed yesterday, just laying not being able to fall asleep, I thought about life. I do that quite a lot since I don't have anything else to do with my mind. And when I don't think of anything I mostly think of life.

So basically, one of my most pressured and important resolutions is to finally find a new flat. I don't need anything big nor really chic. I just want to begin a new life and a new flat will help a lot.

I believe that finding a new flat should be fun? Well for me it's been a torture. I really don't seem to find the right one. I want to stay in the city, I want the flat to be not too far away from anything important. I don't want to take hours to get to work and I like having a parc near the building.

Actually I'm quite the annoying bitch when it comes to finding a new 'home'. But when all the rest of my life goes wrong I want at least this to go right. I want to come home and feel comforable. I want to be able to go to the kitchen and not think of you staying there, cooking for me. I just want to be able to let go, not of you Daisy. Just of the thought of you. I want to let go of the pain and all the hurtful things that came along ith your death. I want to let go of all the mistakes I've done and all the things that keep me from becoming happy. 

See, it's not you Daisy, it's all the things that made me worry in the past few months.

It's my parents, Jake, my job, my issues and all those things. It's quite hard to handle all those things in such hard times. But then again, those things made the times hard.

I think a lot of you Dase. I can't help but think of you. I mostly think of my future love life. Was that very gay of me? Anyway, I think of if I'll ever find someone to trust again, to talk to normally again or to perhaps even love again. It feels stupid because I've never in my entire life loved anyone but you. I never trusted anyone but you and I never really felt comfortable around anyone but you. That's the reason I'm afraid? Is that the right word to say? Am I afraid or just really not interested in what my future will be like?

I couldn't tell you to be honest, I don't know if I wanna know about it anyway I really am not sure if I want to know if I'll ever fall in love again. And I don't want to. I don't want to love anyone but you. 

You're my Daisy, the only woman I'll ever love and the only woman I ever have loved. 

I wish I could be with you right now, I wish I could hold you and tell you that I'll always be with you and I'll never let you go. I wish I could whisper things in your ear and make you compliments. I wish I could kiss you and make you feel good. 

I want to make love to you and taste every part of your body. I remember havig sex with you for the first time. I took aways your precious virginty. You cried the next day and doubted if I was the right one, and I remember telling you that I'm Harry. I'm never the right one. But you told me that you didn't regret it, which I smile of until today. Those words made me happy, the meant so much to me. 

I've had sex with countless girls before you, but what I felt while having it with you was somthing I've never expirienced before. I remember wanting to take it slow, not because it would have been more fun, because I didn't want to rush you. I didn't want to make you feel like you're being forced into something. I wanted you to feel the same way I did. Because I felt so, so good that night. 

I love you Daisy

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guys, I'm sorry for not updating for like 2 weeks but I just had those stupid days where I didn't feel like writing at all. 

Anyway, please comment if you know someone who does trailers. just tell me their username on here or on twitter so I can contact them. 

By the way, I write another story, it's called "All The Stories" I'd love you if you could check it out! Please vote and comment and follow me so we can write :)? xx

Now sorry for the long authors note, I hope you enjoyed the letter, and promise I'll update again soon!