A Week With Andrea

Chapter 1

                  Something felt bad today, and I wonder if it was caused by the lackk of food in my stomach, staying up all night reading ebooks or the sting on my wrists when I covered it up with an armband. I couldn't tell which had made me feel specially irritated today but it must be one of those. Or the fact that I am leaving this darn school tomorrow.

I know I said I wanted to leave. I still do. Except, a certain someone makes me not want to leave. It's complicated, I agree but right now, it's working.

I stare at my desk as the clock ticks by. The exam is nearly over. I look around to see smiling faces and hushed laughter. They're happy. They finally have something to cheer about. Summer vacation.

When the proctor left for the comfort room, Karla, who sat in the middle of the room started giggling really loudly. I continue to tap my desk in annoyance.

Why the fuck is anyone happy right now.

I silently bang my head on my desk and waited for the time to be over. But for some odd reason, I felt like time stopped.

It gave me time to think.

Heather, you wanted to leave, it's part of your plan. I tried to convince myself.

   It is true, from the very moment this school year started, leaving was always the choice I made, but she is stopping me. Stopping me from making that choice.

I can't tell you exactly what she's done but she managed to change my mind in a span of 2 weeks (?).

I am indecisive, but I could still make decisions in a given time. But at this certain moment, I am left with no decision at all.

I felt hot tears stream down my face, I quickly wiped it, hoping no one had seen it.

Except someone did.

"Hey you okay?" Pearl, the girl who sat a set away from me noticed.

"Yeah, tears of joy." I managed to pull out a smile. She smiled back and that was proof it did work.

"God, I'll miss you guys! We should have a sleep over—" she droned on and on until I spaced out once again.

We aren't friends. Nope. I don't have  any friends. I hate everyone.

"Except one." I mumbled, "what was that?" She asked, looking worried.

"I was just thinking about the sleepover."

As if on cue, the PA system echoed in the room right before the classrooms started to erupt in loud laughter and excitement.

Everyone was jumping around screaming and talking about their plans for the summer. I remained seated.

Mely came near me and patted me on the back.

"You really gonna go?"

I shook my head sideways, but I felt the tears again. I looked down.

Mely wrapped her arms around my shoulders (she was smaller than me) and said it's gonna be okay.

I didn't have the strength to hug Mely back cause I didn't want to hug her. I want to hug someone else. I managed to stop the tears before someone sees me again.

"Just know that we're here for you, okay?"

"Okay." Liar. You won't be there for me. We've hung out a lot but I never celt like I was part of that silly group, so never tell me that you'd be there when this whole year, all that I've been through, you guys were never there. My mind was a traitor. My mouth was a rebel. Going against my brain like that.

I got up from my seat and brought my bag with me. I don't want to be in this room anymore. I walked towards Yannah's seat and stayed there.

"I wanna go now." I told her, realizing that I sounded like a little girl.

Yannah gave me a look of pity but decided to keep what she had to say. I felt someone tap my shoulder, I looked up to see Kath. We rode the service together at the start of the school year.

Service.

"You're leaving. How could you leave us!"
Kath said it in a joking way.

Kath is really nice. But other than that, I didn't know her that well. From the multiple talks we had in the service I found out she was like me. Parents are separated, step siblings and living in a condominium (coincidentally close too).

"Yeah, I'll miss you guys."

"Lara will. I think she's coming over here to see you."

Lara was also a busmate. I have done so much wrong to her. For months, I had pretended to have this petty crush on her when I found out that she had a crush on me. She believed it, being naive and all that. She was in seventh grade, a grade lower than mine. But a few weeks from now. I told her it was all a lie and that I was just bored. She didn't take it well. I'm surprised she even wants to see me. For a minute I felt terrible, but it faded afterwards.

"Lara? She doesn't hate me?"

"Of course not. I think she's still madly in love with you." She said in a joking tone again, Yannah joined in on the teasing and started to spout stuff to Katherine.

I would go on and on about what happened. But it's mostly about people telling me they'll miss me, when for a fact I know they won't.

With each passing second, I felt my knees weaken. My head started to ache but I managed to walk out with Yannah and walk towards the classroom at the end of the hall.
Once we reached the end, the whole class were still crying and celebrating. For some reason, I couldn't find her. I saw Cang though, she was hugging people. I saw Nikki and waved at her, she waved back. Then I felt two arms wrap around my torso. I tried to turn around and see who it was. It was Lara. Jia was right behind her following.

I gave her a slight nod and she returned it. I looked down at Lara. She looked so innocent.

You don't know who you're dealing with kid. Don't like me.

Soon she was crying. And not the loud obnoxious crying. She was sobbing.

I hugged her back and I've never felt so sad.

"H-hey, don't cry." I patted her head, but she cried even more. I tried to be the older one here but seeing her cry was hard for me. I squeezed her in my arms then pulled away.

"I'm gonna miss you ate Heds!" She managed to blurt out, while wiping the tears on her jacket sleeve. Lara always wore jackets, even when there's no air-conditioning in this school, except the places with computers and all.

"I'll miss you too."

"We heard from Katherine you were leaving so probably the last goodbye." Jia gave me a hug.

"Yeah, sorry, it was so sudden." Stop lying Heather. You planned this.

I couldn't remember what happened after that, but as soon as they left I felt arms wrap around me once more.

I hugged back immediately this time. It was Ea.

I don't want to leave anymore.