A Week With Andrea

Chapter 6

               She had to go home that night, and all I could think about was that we were going to talk again tonight. I went back up to my unit and slumped down the bed. I didn't feel like eating.

My brother was in the bathroom and his girlfriend sat on the couch just watching TV.

Soon enough, I fell asleep.

***

I woke up to a loud crash from outside the window, I could've sworn that I heard a car crash or I was just hearing things.

day 2: March 18, 2017 9:50 pm

heather: YO BITCh. I miss you. So fucking much

andrea: heyy, but we saw each other like a few hours ago HAHA

heather: i know, but i still miss you.

andrea: you just miss the cigarettes

heather: bitch no, you idiot.

andrea: sent a photo.

I waited for the photo to load and out came Harry memes. I couldn't help but smile. Her dedication as a fangirl to Harry Styles was unbelievable. But I couldn't help but feel kind of jealous. It was stupid, I agree. But she falls for a "Harry Styles". Take note, we have the same initials, we're probably both in love with that perfume of hers ( i mean i loved it way before I knew he loved it ) he loves old people, but hey I hate old people. For some reason my mind drifted elsewhere when she started sending multiple photos, I just skimmed through them and laughed at a few.

heather: HAHAHA Omgg

andrea: ikr

heather: so what now?

andrea: idek anymore HAHA

heather: do you have questions?

andrea: not really, you?

heather: i have a few.

andrea: go ahead.

heather: not a question, but remember that time when we were in the jeep? And we were holding hands? I felt weird.

andrea: why? Cause we were holding hands?

heather: yes and because the lady in front of us was staring at me like there was something wrong.

andrea: uh dude, she was staring at us. I was there too.

heather: i know, i just felt weird.

       In all honesty, I did feel weird. I held her hand and it felt weird. We were both girls. Well in this generation, society has accepted gay shit but I don't know a part of me thinks that I shouldn't have held her ha din broad daylight. But then again it was just a friendly gesture. But doing it with me, who looks like a freaking lesbian, would probably send a different message.

      And then it led to what happened on the day before the last day of examination. I had to sneak out and meet Ea to smoke. I brought her to the empty space right above ministop. It was quiet and it had a good view of the traffic going on above us. That day, I was wearing the ironman shirt and we were seated on the ground inches apart. All I could remember was we were talking about depressing things. Then she hugged me like there was no tomorrow. That was the same day where I held my hand out and held hers. To make it less awkward, I swung it around like how children do. I didn't want her to think this shit was supposed to be romantic. I just wanted it as a friend's thing.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I realized I was still chatting with Ea.

andrea: remember when you said you wante to kiss me? Why didn't you do it?

heather: i wished i did, but I couldn't

andrea: why?

heather; idk.
Seen 10:47 pm

       I couldn't remember why I didn't do it. I had the chance. She told me she would let me and she would do the same on that thing she typed on her phone. There was that feeling inside of me like a hole being created in the deepest parts of me. Slowly I felt drained. Soon, empty.

heather: kiss or hug me?

andrea: wow that made me think HAHA

i waited for her response but it took her awhile. The three dots kept appearing at the bottoms of my screen which meant she was typing.

andrea: kiss you.

heather: why?

andrea: more hygienic.

Deep inside I was horrified of what she was about to say and wanted to take the question back but she responded anyway and it didn't seem so bad.

andrea: what about you kiss or hug me?

Both? i thought, then slapped myself for thinking such things. Like seriously heather wtf.

heather: idk. (Safest answer)

andrea: why?

heather: we're both girls. It seemed wrong.

when I clicked send, that's the only time I gv it an actual thought. What was I? Am I a she,he,they or it? God it was confusing.

Andrea: HAHA okay

        We kept talking until eventually the sun came up. I didn't feel sleepy at all. I wanted to keep talking but I didn't want to bore her with all the sad talk. So I had to let her go.

heather: my bro's coming home, i gtg see ya.

andrea: DAMN, okay, see youuu

heather: i love you

       I didn't press send, in fact I left it that way. There was no way she'd say it back. I'm just disappointing myself.

  I closed my eyes and whispered to an empty room.

I hate you.