A Week With Andrea

Chapter 3

                    We got a ride. But it was cramped. So she had to sit on the entrance and I was seated beside this old guy who smelled like shit. I hated old men. Or maybe all men.

She sat there without a care in the world. I gave her gum and took it like a pill.

The ride was slow and steady. Kind of like riding a carousel. If you try to concentrate on what's happening outside while it moves you'll feel a bit dizzy. But if you just enjoy the ride and not give a damn about what's happening then you'll be fine. That's how I see it at least.

Back when I was a little girl, jeepney rides used to be fun. It was probably because of my sense of adventure when I was younger. Now jeepney rides seem boring. I wanted to get off and just walk home. I looked outside the jeep and observed the people walking. I wonder what they're thinking. I wonder that they're going through. Or what they've been through. I think a lot.

Ea snapped me out of my thoughts wen she asked for more gum. I took out the container and it had two left. Normally I'd lie and say there was no more but for some reason I gave her the gum and ate one as well.

The jeep was getting spacious, the space beside me was vacant. I kicked Ea and signaled her to sit beside me. She got up and balanced herself before earning a seat beside me.

I stared outside. It's the only thing I could do, besides frequently glancing at my wrist watch. For some reason, this trip was slow. Normally, when I ride home from school it would take 15-20 minutes. Even with the occasional stops for passengers and gas. But I could've sworn this time it felt longer. Almost like the universe was giving me the chance to speak. Tell Ea everything. I glance at my watch and it read 11:56. 4 minutes til' 12. I wanted to say something so badly. But I didn't know what to say. What I'm going to say could change things, and that's what scares me. Anything I would say might be used against me or remain in her head forever. I didn't want that. I remained quiet.

I slid my hand underneath hers and hoped that maybe it was enough to give a message. I looked away to hide the embarrassment written all over my face. The woman who sat in front of us was staring. And no, she wasn't staring at me or Ea. She was staring at our hands. I felt uncomfortable despite the comfiness of her grasp. I took our hands and his it under our bags but I felt Ea snicker. I didn't bother looking at her face so I kept my eyes on the road. The building came to view and as if it was an involuntary action, my hand squeezed hers. She did the same.

I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. But I have her with me here. At this moment, I felt like the world was about to end.

I shut my eyes closed, I wanted to do so many things yet I couldn't. I couldn't do it.

I wanted to hug her and kiss her and tell her everything is going to be okay. But I couldn't.

The jeep stopped in front of our building and we stood there.

"I better go then." She told me,

I took a deep breath and shook my head. I didn't want her to go just yet.

"Come with me upstairs then you can go." I turned to face her, "please?" I managed to smile. She nodded then followed me to the lobby.

***

We were in the elevator. Everyone else had vacant stares. I wondered what was going on in their minds. Were they sad. Were they alone. Were they leaving too. The big question was, did I look like them? Does Ea ever think about what I'm thinking?

I glanced at her but she was staring at the numbers on the elevator.

The doors opened to the 24th floor.

The moment we got out and right after the elevator doors closed, I was engulfed in her scent once again. A sweet mixture of something I couldn't describe or explain.

"Hang on a second." I chuckled, I tried my best to untangle her arms from my shoulders. Once away, I faced her. And I hugged her.

I didn't want this to be over. I wish it just stayed like this forever. But forever is quite impossible. Everything's temporary in my world, and that's what fucking scares me.
I don't want her to be anything temporary.

We were still hugging. And if this continued, I might find a reason to kill myself or run away. Seeing her like this. Still emotionless. But her actions says otherwise—it's confusing. I pull away and felt my insides churn. I didn't want to let go but I have to. Or  else I'd miss her.

I miss her already.

I took a good long look at her face before turning around and entering my unit. But before I could turn to the next corner she wrapped her arms around me again and kissed the back of my head.

I couldn't make out what she had said since I was surprised myself with what she had done.

I watched as she entered the elevator, and with one swift close of the doors she was gone.

I got into the unit pretending that nothing has happened. I kept a straight face.

My sister, who still looked pissed, glanced up at me from her phone. My brother was still in his bed. The unit was still a mess. There were no bags packed.

"I thought we were going to Bulacan today?"

"I don't know when, but mom cancelled."

If my sister knew how my heart had tumbled inside of me, she would've thrown me out the window.

I'm not leaving. yet.