A Week With Andrea

Chapter 2

         For a goddamn second, I felt at home. I was engulfed in her scent once again and I wanted it to stay like this forever. We both pulled away and I hugged Cang.

"You're leaving! How dare you!" Cang shoved me playfully and then pouted.

All I could do was laugh, I didn't want to tell anyone what I had been thinking these past few months. They shouldn't know.

"It was a sudden decision. I didn't want this."

***

Then we were alone. The two of us. I had decided that I wasn't going home yet. It was 10:24 am and I should be home at 12:00.

My sister warned me that if I got home later than 12:30 they'd leave me and go to Bulacan themselves. I looked at my watch and smiled.

2 hours is enough.

          We went to our usual spot in a restricted area by the mall right beside our school. No one had seen us go in and that was good. I sat on the staircase and contemplated on what to do.

She handed me a cigarette. Then I lighted it.

I couldn't remember what we had talked about that time but I knew it was something depressing.

"I don't want to leave." I told her,

        She remained quiet. The music on her phone was barely audible making me more anxious on what she's thinking about.

"You know, I want to cry but I can't."

         I tried to laugh, but she remained stone-faced. I tried to search my bag for something. That's when I saw the bracelet. Without hesitation, I took it out and gave it to her.

"Early birthday gift." I reasoned, she took it and somehow I think I saw her eyes light up.

We stayed quiet that time. I concentrated on my cigarette.

"Maybe when I leave, I would stop smoking." I said,

"You might not." She chuckled, "you're right, who am I kidding." I took a drag from my cigarette and watched as the smoke hovered above us.

I got up and walked towards the empty wall. I took out markers and scribbled on it. Ea joined me after a few minutes. I didn't know what to do. I was never the one to be all wild and rowdy. I thought what I was scribbling the wall was still prim and proper despite it being an illegal matter. I took a look at what I drew and shook my head. I looked at Ea and she seemed to be distracted, so I took the opportunity to write the poem I had written on her so-called universal notebook, which had been ripped apart by my sister.

      Once done we walked over to small sign that said 'No Smoking'. I remembered laughing at it and scribbling stuff on it. I had never felt so alive.

         I sat back down on the edge of the step and took another drag from my cigarette. I glanced at her then back onto my shoes.

"Could you write something?" She tossed her notebook,
"What should I write? I've said everything and done everything."

"Anything."

I didn't know what to write. I used up all my thoughts on the letter I was supposed to give her but my sister tore it apart right after telling y mom about it. I took my pen and scribbled in thoughts.

I glanced up at her and took a good long look. She was empty. Her eyes said so.

I continued writing but ended up filling half of the page.

"That's all i could write for now."

Then she did the unthinkable. She ripped the notebook apart. Leaving my note of course.

She started ripping it all out and shredding it into smaller pieces.

"I want to lash out and get mad but I can't."

I didn't know what to say. I wasn't prepared for this. Outside I looked like I was fine with it. But deep inside, I was furious as well.

After ripping it all, she took her lighter then burned it all. Then we left.

My insides were all over the place. She looked calm. I wanted to say something, but I don't know what to say.

She put her arm around my shoulder and she started to joke around as if nothing had happened earlier. I removed her arm cause it did make me uncomfortable. I tried to distract myself but I kept glancing at my watch. It was 11:45.

She held her hand out and smiled, I took it and intertwined mine with hers. Truth is, I've never held hands like this with anyone before. I've never intertwined them atleast. I just grabbed their palms or wrists and that's it. I was always fascinated with the idea of holding hands. For me, it was a thousand times better than kissing.

I stared at our hands for awhile then looked away but I bet when you glanced at me you probably saw me all dazed and shit.

The moment was to precious to let go. And so were your hands, but a group of boys from Marist (presumably) were about to walk past us. I wanted to avoid their gaze. I still wasn't used to this "sexuality" of mine. It's very questionable. So I didn't want to be seen holding hands with a girl in broad daylight. I wanted to let go. I tried to pull away. But she held it even tighter.

I felt my face heat up when the group passed by us while we were walking. My heart literally stopped. But she didn't seem to be moved. She didn't care about what people thought and that's where we are different. Very different.

I took a deep breath and let my hand slide out of her grasp as we got to end of the sidewalk. We waited for a jeep to pass by.

It was 11:53.