This is our family - The 100

Ch.35 Moving on

Miller decided the best thing to do was to get away for the weekend with Monty and break the news to him there. They left early Saturday morning for a road trip to a cottage he had rented. It was a beautiful sunny day when they left in Bellamy's Jeep. He took the roof down for them and they were off. They talked and laughed singing to songs and radio together, Miller looked to his right and saw the sparkle in Monty's eye and smiled. He loved Monty; he really did, as a best friend. Hell he was family but Miller didn't want to be with him romantically anymore. What stopped him from telling Monty the truth right away was the fact that he couldn't bear to lose him but the longer he waited the more he would hurt him and he couldn't do that. "Monty" he said abruptly getting his attentions right away. "What's up Miller? You okay?" Miller sighed and strained his focus on the open back road ahead. "Mont- Monty" he stuttered. "I need to talk to you." He looked over to see a reaction from Monty but he never got one so he sighed and continued. "Monty. I love you, I do. But the thing is. I don't think I love you like...I don't know romantically anymore. Monty was still silent. The silence was deafening to Miller. "Would you just say something?!? Miller looked over distressed not sure how to handle this situation. "What do you want me to say?" Monty asked. "Something. Anything. Hit me. Yell at me. But don't just look at me like that." Miller begged. "Like what?" "Like I just broke your heart." Miller said quietly. "You did. I love you. But maybe your right. I know you have been distant these past few months. Not the same guy who moved in with us. I don't care what it takes but I need him back. Even if that means we aren't together anymore. But I need the Miller Bellamy wants to drink with and laugh with. The man Raven looks to for support. Clarke trusts to babysit when they are away. The guy Jasper thinks is super cool and badass. I need that Miller back." Miller had tears in his eyes. "Thanks Monty. I love you man." Monty sighed. "You too. But we need to get you back. So what's it gonna take?" Miller hesitated before answering. "This guy." Monty looked out the window. "Monty. I never cheated. I swear I Didn't even think about him like that. I just thought about if I could." He confessed. "Fine." Monty said. "What's his name?" "Bryan" "how do you know him?" "Delinquents." Monty sat quietly. That was their thing. Technically it was millers but at the time that made it his too. "Okay." Monty sighed. Well let's go get him." Miller looked over to him. "What? Now?" He raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Yeah. It's been dragging you down for this long you need to go find him." "What about the weekend?" "Miller. Dude you just broke up with me. No offence but it's not like I just want to hang out with you for 48 hours now. Miller chuckled awkwardly. "Makes sense...wanna go home?" Monty nodded. They drive home in silence. When they got there Monty walked past Bellamy in the doorway who scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion. "Miller?..." he walked over to the jeep and leaned in. "What's going on?" "We'll get in. I'm going to the dropship I'll explain." Bellamy sat quietly as Miller told him how he felt about Bryan and how he changed and grew out of the old relationship while he nervously tapped his thumbs against the steering wheel. When they pulled into the parking lot Miller turned off the ignition and sighed heavily. "Fuck." Miller punched the steering wheel. "Hey, Jesus man what the hell?!?" Bellamy yelled. Miller ignored him. "What am I gonna do? I never wanted to hurt Monty but I... I just feel like I need Bryan you know. I feel like I knew him in another life, that sounds stupid. But when I see him a sense of familiarity and just overall warmth comes over me like I'm finally home. I've never felt like that before." He sighed again. "I know I have a home. Okay. That's not what I meant. You guys mean the world to me. But this is different." "Hey man it's okay alright? Your going to be okay. Just breathe. Alright? Come here." Bellamy pulled him across the arm rest into a awkward hug. Their seat belts were cutting into them but neither released  their grip for a few minutes. "Alright enough." Miller pushed Bellamy away. "I'm going to help Lincoln out. You want a latte or something?" He asked getting out of the car and waking to his shop. Bellamy followed him in running his fingers roughly through his hair. "Yeah whatever, nothing too fancy-Hey Lincoln! How's it going bud?" The two men started to talk as Miller made coffee for himself and Bellamy. "Do you know what happened with Miller? Bellamy whispered between his teeth. Lincoln could see the worry in his eyes despite the fake grin spread across his face. "Lincoln you want anything?" He called over his shoulder as he stirred sugar into his coffee. "Nah I'm good." "Laugh like I said something funny." Bellamy whispered Lincoln did what Bellamy asked. "Yeah. Talk later." He placed a hand on Bellamy's shoulder reassuringly but pulled away wiping his hands on the tea towel over his shoulder just as Miller walked in holding a yellow mug out to Bellamy. He took it smiling.