The Rogue Guardian

Chapter 80: Gordan

sorry this is short and nothing happens but i'm in a rush so enjoy and yell at me later!

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Nali and I parted ways and I started down the street. I wasn't exactly sure where I was going— there was still quite a while until I had to meet Joshua to sneak into the castle. I had a vague idea of poking around the royal forest for clues, since I hadn't had time the night I'd left. Not that I expected to find anything there. It had been far too long. The trail of blood and cart ruts I had seen that night would be long washed away from weather and time, but I had nothing better to do until nightfall.

That is, until a man passing on the street suddenly reached out and grabbed my arm.

We both stepped back quickly, surprised by each other, though he must have recognized me before I recognized him. It was Gordan, a regular fighter and watcher at the Match House.

"Morane!" He said, looking confused. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"I've been out of town." I shook his hand as he offered it to me, feeling awkward. Gordan had been the only person in the city to treat Jaden as a friend rather than a legend (or an enemy), and I couldn't guess how much he knew.

"With Jaden?" He asked, hopeful.

Apparently not that much. "No," I said slowly.

He caught on fast, his face going pale. "Missing, or—"

"I don't know. Missing." I hesitated. I wasn't sure how much I should say.

"He told me something might happen," Gordan said. He had Jaden's way of conveying a weary sort of grimness with very little change in his voice. "Did he warn you?"

"Yes," I said, remembering with a little miserable twinge in my stomach. "Sort of. He told me he felt like he was being followed, and that he had something urgent to tell me. But something came up, and... he didn't get to."

That sparked real worry on his face. "So if he had something to tell you — instructions for what to do if he disappeared — you didn't hear them?"

I almost confirmed that I hadn't before considering his words carefully. "Well, I did get instructions from him. I don't think the letter he left me was what he wanted to tell me in person, but he sent me to someone else, and maybe that's what they told me." This was very imprecise, I thought, trying to guess what Jaden had wanted from me. He'd sent me to Roman, to find out that Roman was supposed to teach me and to receive a list of my Guardian Dreams, but were those the things he'd come to tell me the night he'd wanted to talk? Would I ever find out? "Why?" I asked. "What do you know about instructions he might have left me?"

It took Gordan a while to answer. I got the feeling he wasn't sure he should. "Jaden left something with me, for you. A long time ago. A backup plan, in case something happened to him. But if he didn't tell you to find me, then... then whatever happened, or at least whatever he expected to happen, can't be that bad." That should have been reassuring, but he still looked worried.

"What is it?" I asked. There was no way he was getting away without telling me what it was. Last time I let a man walk out of my sight without telling me something important right away, he up and disappeared with a trail of blood. No thanks. I was learning from my mistakes this time.

He shook his head. "If Jaden wanted me to tell you, he would have told you to find me. Unless of course whatever happened is worse than he expected, and it's time I told you but he can't contact you to say so..." He wrung his hands. "He always said that I had to use my own judgment if there was ever any question."

"Well, using my judgment, you should tell me immediately."

"That's nice, but I wouldn't trust your judgment as to what color my shoes are, much less something like this." Before I could come up with a sufficiently outraged retort, he added, "Jaden told me about some of your little adventures regarding heights and buckets of water."

Okay, so when we were ten Sam and I tried to rig a bucket of water to the ceiling to tip over when the king passed underneath it and someone got their leg broken. I stand by the experiment.

"Better safe than sorry," I said. "What if it's something I need, and you don't tell me? I don't see what you lose by telling me, but not telling me could have consequences."

He sighed. "Clearly I've already said too much."

"Yes, you've said too much. I'm not letting it go."

He rubbed his temple with the heel of hand. "Jaden always said you were stubborn."

"You'll find out just how stubborn soon."

"How long are you in the capital?"

I raised an eyebrow. Did he think leaving would stop me? "Just for today. Then I'm going back to Maenar."

"Maenar?" He considered that. "I've been thinking about going to Maenar. I have some business to take care of there."

"So?"

"So I need time to think about this. If I come with you to Maenar I can take care of my business and have time to decide what to do."

I could imagine Joshua's fury if I suddenly added yet another member to our return trip, but that almost made it more attractive. "Alright. Be ready to leave by tonight." It would only give me more time to convince him to tell me.

"That soon? I don't want to know why your trip is so quick."

He really didn't, considering what we had planned. "What do you need to do in Maenar?"

"There's a man I need to speak to, a Cabrel Lystone. You might know of him."

"Yeah, Jaden's..." I trailed off, unsure exactly what to finish with. Wes hadn't said that Cabrel and Jaden were married, but he had implied they were together, had and would be together, for a long time, even if they were physically apart. And seeing the way Gordan looked at the ground when I stopped, I wasn't sure I wanted to ask him for clarification.

"Yes. Jaden's."

I shifted my feet uncomfortably. I had a feeling like I'd narrowly avoided stepping into an unexpectedly deep puddle and might still lose my balance.

He was still looking at the ground. "Cabrel doesn't really come to the capital, you know. Jaden always has to go see him."

"Yes, I haven't seen him since I was little. Cabrel, I mean."

"I know what you mean. Jaden was happier then. Cabrel shouldn't have moved to Maenar." He was being very emphatic, like he wanted me to voice my agreement.

"Wasn't he in danger here?"

"Yes, well..." He made a face like that was no excuse. "It's been years. He could probably come back without trouble, but he hasn't, and it's selfish."

I suppose it could be, if Cabrel being so far away made Jaden unhappy, but I wasn't sure that Gordan was being fair.

"That's what I'm going to talk to him about," Gordan concluded. "I'm going to tell him to consider moving back. Jaden will appreciate that, when he gets back."

I couldn't miss the fact that Gordan regarded Jaden's absence as a very temporary thing, while I had become much more pessimistic, but I couldn't take it to heart. Instead I kept worrying that I was right and Gordan's faith in Jaden's ability to disappear and reappear at will would be crushed.

"That would be nice," was all I said. "But Cabrel's not in Maenar at the moment. You might have to stick around to face my stubbornness for quite some time."

He sighed. "Of course. Perhaps Jaden and Cabrel went somewhere together, for all we know."

In that case Jadan would surely have left under much less worrisome circumstances, but I didn't want to inflict my pessimism on Gordan, so we made arrangements to leave and said goodbye.

I sincerely hoped I would actually see him again.