The Rogue Guardian

Epilogue: Jaden's Secrets

We took a day not to talk about it.

From the moment we left the forest, we focused only on getting back to Maenar. Nali came with us, insisting she had to talk to Ysmay, and Gordan kept up as best he could. Nemia sat on our horse in front of me me, and the silence between us was deeper than any I had ever felt.

Only Joshua and I spoke at all, discussing how to attract the least attention as we retrieved our boat and returned to the Mitrove, its currents carrying us back home faster than it had brought us to the disaster that was the capital.

By the time we were well on our way, the dawn of our faceoff with the princess had turned into a hot afternoon of traveling and finally the cool dark blue of evening on the river.

"I'm sorry," I told Joshua, as we stood at the rail and looked down at the rushing water. "I know that was your revenge and I screwed it up."

He didn't make eye contact. "Yeah. Well. You made a call, and it might have been the right one. We'll never know if we could have finished the deed in time with her interference. It's Galatea's fault, not yours."

I raised an eyebrow. "The nerve, to try to stop us from killing her father."

"It's only good manners not to interrupt an assassination in progress," he deadpanned. "Don't worry, Iso will face justice eventually. I'll make sure of it. And when that time comes... I won't be taking you along, because honest to God, you don't know how to make a quiet exit."

I snickered. "You can only say that because you only know about my loud exits. All my successful quiet ones go under your radar."

He sighed and shook his head. "Morane."

"What?"

"Talk to the Assassin. You have to eventually."

He pushed off the rail, leaving me alone. I stared miserably at the river. I didn't want to talk to Nemia. I wanted to stave off everything that was terrible and painful for a little bit longer.

Nemia, however, didn't give me a choice, wandering over the moment Joshua left. She was paler than usual, a little unsteady on her feet. I could see the small nick in her skin where I let the dagger slip. When she leaned against the rail, facing away from the water, I couldn't help but see how skinny and fragile she looked.

"Have you been eating?" I blurted out.

"Been trying to," she murmured.

"Have you—"

"The answer's probably no."

I reached for her clumsily, pulling her against my chest the way I had before that horrible night. "Nemia, I wouldn't have—"

"I know," she said, and the perfect, quiet confidence in her voice stopped me. "I knew. It's okay."

"But..." I hadn't known, I thought. In the clearing, I'd known that the threat would work and that was all that mattered. But I hadn't known in the moment whether or not I would kill her, if it came down to it. I only knew that it wouldn't.

She shrugged. "It doesn't matter if you knew, Morane. I know you. I wasn't scared for a second when you had me."

I clutched her tighter, pressing my face into her hair and breathing her in. Everything inside me was wound too tightly, cinched closed trying to keep the tears in. Trying to keep everything in and the rest of the world out, the rest of the world away from us.

"Morie," she mumbled, mouth against my shoulder. "Visitor."

I looked over her head, at Gordan standing there far from inconspicuously, though clearly a little uncomfortable.