The Rogue Guardian

Chapter 83: Blood for Blood

Hey guys, uh, this is the second to last chapter?? yeah, that snuck up on me, but here we are at last. I'll be posting my final author's note this Wednesday, and at that point I'll let you know if we have a last chapter and an epilogue coming or just a last chapter, and also let you know when the title + blurb + first chapter of the third book goes up. enjoy!

I was still wiping my mouth when I met Joshua three stories below Iso's window, hidden in the thick clumps of bushes. "Ready to go?" I was trying to sound casual, perfectly normal. But we both heard how hoarse my voice was.

He hesitated. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay." I tried to weigh my words, figure out if that sounded actually casual. More confrontational — I should be annoyed with him, right? Why did I have to think about this? "Why wouldn't I be okay?" I asked with an edge in my voice.

"You look kinda sick." He shifted uncomfortably, like he was also trying to sound normal. "Not that I care. I just need to make sure you won't flake out on me and panic because of what we're doing."

I thought he might care, though. He was still side-eyeing me like I might fall over at any moment.

Alright, I'd thrown up on my way over, but I wasn't scared of blood. I wasn't scared of anything. I just — I just needed —

It was hard to breathe down here. I needed the height, the open air, the distance, the adrenaline and the strain of muscles and lungs trying to drag in too much air.

"Let's climb," I said, voice all cold steel. I didn't need anyone fussing over me. I needed to use the daggers strapped to my hip. I needed someone to pay for this mess. So now I knew that Iso wasn't responsible — so what? He'd do just fine for getting this roaring, seething panic out of me.

Someone had to bleed for this.

So Joshua turned away and we both looked up the sheer face of the wall.

"First one up gets to draw first blood?" I suggested, and grabbed my first handhold and heaved myself up.

"Oh, screw you, Laerhart — I earned first blood!" He called up as loudly as he dared, but I was already ahead, exhilarating in the effort it took, the concentration and the tension.

The deep-night wind whipped past, flattening me against the cool stones of the wall, and every foot upward was another challenge. But this was right. It made sense the way nothing else had this night. I forced Nemia and her confession out of my mind. There was only pale gray stone stretching forever upward. The equally unending drop below me. Sweat trickling down my back and deep black night all around.

If this could go on forever, then everything would be okay. There would be only the growing but manageable pain and Jaden's calm voice in my ears, directing each movement upward.

Now, come on, Morane. It wouldn't be fun if it were easy.

I wanted to think of something he'd said that would make this better, that would make the squeezing, painful knot where my heart should have been loosen a little. But all I could think of was him calling out handholds and suggestions and barely teasing quips from below as I navigated an easy beginner's wall, back when that was all I could manage.

What do you mean, how will you come down? Down is the easy part. I'll simply teach you how to fly.

When Joshua and I pulled ourselves through the window I felt tear tracks down my face, and hoped he didn't get a chance to see them before I swiped them away.

"I saw the door to the hallway shut the moment we got up here," he explained quietly, breathlessly. "Iso must have just left for his nightly walk. We have to hurry so we don't lose him."