A Slave to Love

Chapter 27: Guilt

I couldn't believe it.

I cheated.

I cheated on Landon.

I cheated on Landon with Blade.

I cheated on Landon with Blade in the forest after he sucked my blood and we both proceeded to make out profusely.

"I. Am. So. Stupid." I groaned, banging my aching head on the tiled wall to punctuate each word before I sighed and stepped into the shower. I let the hot water wash off all his blood off of me before I looked down at my wrist. Two half moons stared back at me. They weren't bleeding anymore, hadn't even scabbed over or anything, they were just faint red scars. How? I didn't know. All I knew was that they had been bleeding before he licked them and now they weren't.

I couldn't understand how something like that could cause so much...pleasure. I started to shake just thinking about it, the sharp sting of his bite, the heat coursing through me... I couldn't believe I kissed him! What the hell was wrong with me? Was that some kind of vampire magic? Was that why Blade was all over women? 

Shit. I'd basically encouraged him and hell; I had been a pretty active participant. I flushed just thinking about it, feeling more embarrassed and ashamed than ever at having moaned his name and grabbed at him like some desperate loser. I wanted to die. Who knew what was going to happen the next time I saw him? How much he was going to make fun of me and brag about getting a kiss from me?

I shook my thoughts away from Blade and instead tried to focus on what hell I was supposed to say to Landon. No matter how I tried, I kept coming up empty. How could I explain to him my temporary loss of sanity brought upon by Blade biting me? He'd think I was psychotic for making up such a bullshit story to excuse my cheating on him. 

I hid in my room for the entire day after my shower, even though Katie begged me to come out of it. Not even brunch could tempt me to come out; I'd stuffed my face with the squished granola bars that had been sitting at the bottom of my bag for who knew how long. Landon tried coming in but I had the door locked and told Katie very sternly that I didn't want to see anyone today. I knew she told them about me bolting into our room at seven o'clock in the morning, covered in black stuff and looking absolutely horrified and flustered.

She didn't know what happened and I certainly wasn't going to be giving out any details as to what happened. And I couldn't think of a single convincing lie to explain or cover it up. The blood and gore complicated an already messed up situation and I was far too cowardly and confused to come up with a decent story.

So I stayed in my room and rested all day, taking naps before I woke up and scrounging up whatever snacks I had in the room, and panicked some more about Landon and Blade and what I was going to do before I closed my eyes and napped some more. Obviously, having your blood drained was very exhausting because I could barely keep my eyes open after I came out of the shower and flopped onto my bed, my adrenaline high running out by the time I was clean.

Even though I told Katie specifically not to let anyone in, once when I was just about to drift off into sleep I heard Mick and Landon come in with Katie. Even if I wanted to send them out I was in that semi-conscious state and I couldn't do anything, wasn't sure it was even real. As is, I felt Landon kiss my forehead before I passed out.

When I woke up again I was alone, which suited me just fine.

I barely ate all day and I didn't move from my bed either, I just slept on and off in between worrying and feeling sick, nursing a headache that had been steadily growing worse. I didn't even feel Blade nearby, which I was also thankful for. I had no clue what to do if he showed up again, which I knew he would eventually.