nurse; mgc

fifty-eight

do y'all think jaz is gonna keep the baby???

Jasmine's POV

"How could you be so stupid!" My father screamed, pacing back and forth. I just sat there, my head bowed in guilt. There was nothing I could do, everything was ruined, everything had happened. As the days go on an abortion became more and more of a option.

"These past months, I was killing myself allowing you two to stay together! Because I didn't want you to run away and end up like your mother, and all you did was take me for granted! All those late nights! Are you kidding me, Jasmine? I excepted so much better from you! You were so much better than this! We had plans remember! University, nursing.. you've dreamed your whole life for this and now it might not even happen! I can't believe you could even— I can't even look at you right now, go!" He screamed pointing towards the stairs. I stood up slowly and walked to my room, slowly closing the door behind myself and locking it shut.

Almost as if on cue, tears streamed down from my eyes like river. I didn't feel the pricking sensation, the lump in my throat. All of a sudden they just started falling- like rain. Starts off in a drizzle ends up a hurricane. My back slid down my bedroom door until my butt hit the hard wood. My hair fell infront of my face, wetting the tips. I sobbed, I sobbed and sob. Clawing, beating at my stomach. How could I had let this happen? How could I have been so irresponsible? So absent minded? How can I make this go away? I just want it all to go away.

Before I knew it pools formed in my hands, and my thoughts rung in my ears. I slapped my head they wouldn't stop. I punched myself until the skin turned green, it wouldn't stop. I pulled my hair, it didn't stop. I was still here no matter how much I tried to hurt myself, and the more time passes the more I just want to evaporate.
If the baby couldn't go away, maybe I could.

•••

In minutes I was up, packing only my most needed supplies into every back I ever seized to own. All my devices, clothes, makeup, money, IDs. I left the letter, stained with tears on the centre of my made bed.

I stood, looking back at my bedroom one more time. Realising, this might be the last time I ever see it. I strapped one back pack on my back, the other in the front and struggled with my suitcase by hand, down my stairs. Luckily my dad and aunt weren't home. They might have stepped to discuss options. Those I still haven't figures out yet. I took to elevator down the the garage, struggling all the way to my car and loading everything into the back.

I pulled my phone out of my jean pocket and dialled Calum's number, slamming the door shut and then climbing into the drivers side.

"Hey Jazzy, what do you need?"

"Well.." I begin, sliding the key into the ignition. The cars engine roared immediately.

"I.. I kind of need a place to stay..?"

-

"You live alone?" I asked, plopping onto Calum's leather couch right after he helped me with my bags. Calum just nodded. "My dad works in New Zealand, so he used to just come visit but he got diagnosed with lukemia last summer, so my mom and sister moved back to stay with him. And my grandparents are really strict so I got a place with my cousin, but he's out of town with his girlfriend." Calum explained and I just nodded.

It wasn't big. The walls of his apartment were painted a dirty white, and the carpets looked like an ugly crochet pattern. There was 2 bedrooms, and one bathroom and secretly I began to wonder where I was sleeping. Calum smiled, coming over to where I was sitting and putting a warm mug in my hands. I took a sip and smiled, "hot chocolate.. you know me!" I said and he just chuckled, running a tense hand through his curly mop.

"So, I'm taking it they didn't react well to the pregnancy," he asked, placing his tattooed arm on the spine of the couch. I nodded, setting the white porcelain mug on his wooden coffee table. "He just screamed. I felt kind of bad, you know. He let Michael stay and I let him down.... it's just— I don't know, Cal. I'm really thinking about.. getting an a-abortion."

Calum bit his lip, dragging his eyes around the room. A noticeable sigh was heard from either one of us. Our eyes met again and he placed his hand on my knee, "Jasmine. You are a strong, independent, intelligent woman and I know that you are 100% capable of making the right decision. And whether that be keeping the baby, or not. I support you no matter what."

I smiled almost feeling my dimples crinkle up. "Where did I get such a great friend?" I sighed, turning to face the TV and he put his arm around my shoulders. "And trust me, I'll pay rent, I'll clean, I'll get a job-"

"Stop, I got you, Jasmine."