Warning: A useless piece coming from an internally conflicted character. haha.
Title: The Art of Doing Nothing
I woke up that morning feeling something isn't right with me. It's not about how I wind myself up trying to comb my unruly hair or how I found myself being woken up on the wrong side of the bed or how I tossed my body around when I'm sound asleep. It isn't also how I wrongly folded the sheets on the bed or how I forgot to brush my teeth that morning or how I wore my shirt the other way around. It isn't about looking myself doing all those normal chores and repeated routines but the way I felt that morning when I woke up really made a difference. It felt like no matter what I do; no matter if I go to school or not; If I wear my school uniform or not; If I can answer my teachers correctly or not ----- everything won't still matter. It doesn't matter how long I may have been stuck with my own sense or arrive at a conclusion that everything in this world are done just because of the sake that you have to do something while you're figuring out the sense of doing what you have been doing. Confused? I am too you know. I haven't arrived at that point of reason yet, where you figure yourself and you go out fetching that one purpose of your life until you reach the end game----death. How is it that you do not think of it until you've come to realize the weight of the word? and would go as far as to fear it? An end game such as death is a point beyond reason upon which an individual may or may have not completed his business in world, left with a sudden variable mixed up in a picture with no apparent reason but to disrupt the synergy of life here on Earth.
However, death is a force opposing life creating balance among every creature. Thus, this made it constant and considered as needed. So what's the point of living whilst dying? What's the point of doing everything that you have been doing when you cannot bring those things to your grave? I know I sound pessimist about life but that's a fact. A reality that no amount of sugar-coated memories can extinguish. No matter how happy you are or sad you have been, there would probably times --- a lot of times in your life when you are truly and genuinely bored and all you have left to do is nothing. Nothing at all. You content yourself by just having a stare down contest with the ceiling or the window when it's raining or even have yourself endeavor on your own silly mirror-talking or just like a crazy retard, (forgive me with my language) your stare on the thin air with no particular reason. That's why I'm lead to a theory that being bored and doing nothing has an art on it because in that split second you pause your life and just stare at anything, something happens inside that mammalian brain. An art slowly creeps out to your system and just like that, it bursts with colors that none of the creatures in your house could actually see except you. It's all in the head my dear. It's all in your head to be creative. In that span of time, sequences of unrelated or related events stitches up on their own, creating a dreamer in you. Making you the person you ought to be, forget about death and other morbid thoughts. It's a reality you have to swallow up and so what? Carpe diem. You gotta seize what it is to seize because you know what does matter the most? Dying with no regrets in life. Thus, appreciate the little things in life. Even when you're bored, appreciate that moment because even without doing nothing, an explosion of arts from your depths can extinguish the worries you have. There are really moments when you thought life anxiously but you have the power to turn it over 360ﾟ. I myself had proven it. Got what I'm talking about? Over the half of this useless rant, I've become two split person, I was a pessimistic chimpanzee (for chimpanzee lovers out there, forgive me if I used chimpanzee as a representation) then I became a proper human who promotes positivity that quick. Haven't you realize it by now? You've come to be absorbed with my own world. Yes, the title seems to be unjustified but keep in mind that you won't be reading this when you don't have time to spare for useless things. Therefore, I can say that this is what I can do when I have nothing left to do. An art as I would say. Thank you for sparing your time.
