Diaries of a Little Brown Girl

No pun intended

Hi people! I am back again to do another rant, and this one is about something that we all hate. Phrases! I hate them. People who say stupid phrases should be circumcised, incrassated, shot, drowned, strangled, decapitated, and best of all, skinned alive.

Don't get me wrong though, I love quotes. Quotes that make people look smart until I point out how dumb they are always make my day. I get to scoff at more people because of it, and if you want to spew words out of your trap like a cum chucking ape, then be my guest, I am all for it! After all, we do have freedom of stupidity, so why not use it to our advantage right?

I honestly think that the reason quotes and phrases were made was to show how easy it would be to tell who is in fact a dumb ass who can't think of his own material. I think that someone just sat there and pondered "hmm. How can I determine a jackass from a dumb ass?" he sat, and thought for the longest time. Ha! I got it! Quotes and phrases!" and that's where shitty quotes popped out from.

People who use quotes are instantly waving a huge sign over their heads and saying "hey, look! Do you see me? Right here. I am the one who can't think of something witty and intelligent to say, so you know what? I'm going to be a shit chucking ape and toss a quote out there or two! Man! I just love being a dip shit!"

The other day, someone used a quote that I hate above and beyond all quotes. The phrase was it takes one to know one.

Now, let's look at this dip shit phrase with an open ass of a mind. The phrase it takes one to know one, implies that you must be whatever the insult was to know that the person that you are insulting is in fact, that insult. No shit. However I think that that is wrong for the following reasons. It doesn't take an ass to know that everyone around me is in fact an ass hole. It's not rocket science. If you see some blind dip shit fall down in the street because he didn't use his cane, you know he's a dip shit. You don't have to be a dip shit to see that, because if you were, you wouldn't see it and you would be a dip shit, right? Doesn't sound so sexy now, does it you apes?

When I was on the phone with an ass with my friend Paul, also known as a testicular fucking shit eater, he used the phrase it takes one to know one, when I called him a cock. Now, let's examine that more closely shall we? If it takes another cock to know that you are in fact, a cock, then obviously you are one yourself because your obvious intelligence says it takes another cock to spot another cock, so that makes you a huge fucking cock, You cock!

Other ass jocks I know but won't mention… "Ian, Jenna, Travis, Kaila, Jodie, Ciara carter, Ian again, but a different one, Justin, and all my teachers) will use this phrase over and over again and they make themselves look like a huge idiot by saying that one phrase, because they unwillingly call their own selves the insult! But then again, that's just how stupid people are. That can't be helped at all.

On the other hand I have seen this phrase used the popular way, but I still think it's wrong.

For instance. Someone said that "Tatiana, you are the most talented person I know, and you are very beautiful and cute." Despite the fact that this chick just contradicted me in her sentence I said thank you.

Some idiot with pale skin going by the name of Marcus said in a sneering voice it takes one to know one. He thought he was insulting her, but he was not. Without even knowing it he had just given her as much love and praise as the countless people she slept with, but getting past that notion, I think that's wrong also, because he

A- was not talented

B- he didn't graduate high school so could not have been even half way intelligent. So… it doesn't take a genius to know someone else is, unless in fact you are a dumb genius. So this phrase just like my high school goal ball team is shitty, useless, and it does nothing to enhance the lives of others.

No pun intended.

First of all, adding to my hate list along side gangsters, white black people, and nerds who even make me look cool, are puns. Puns are like the panicles of stupidity, making your IQ drop 22 points each time you use a pun. People who use them are like comedians who explain their jokes. It's just stupid. It's like you want to see who will pay attention to that non witty remark that you just said. One other phrase apart from no pun intended is pun intended! The only thing it's ever good for is it saves you time when you want to say "hello, I'm going to be at the bag convention this weekend, please be sure to stop by and say 'hi.' I'll be at the douche exhibit." when you point out your puns, you're making a value judgment on me, the reader. You're saying:

"Look here! Oh wow! I have used a pun! Did you know that was intentional? Yeah, well that wasn't an accident. In fact, I thought it was so clever that I didn't think that you would get my subtle play on words or even comprehend the brilliance of my play on words so you know what I did for you? I wanted to make sure you know that I'm not only smart enough to use homonyms, but that I'm smart enough to point them out even though no one gives three shits! Neat, huh?"

And now for the phrase no pun intended. This one plainly says one thing…

"Hey hey hey! Do you see me, over here? Yeah, hey! I want to do something is that okay? I want to direct more attention to my witty remarks that I stole from a comedy show this one night, but I don't want to have you thinking I meant that play on words, so instead, my shitty brain came up with a shitty idea and I went along with it! I'm going to use the phrase no pun intended! By doing this I steal from people and I just want to let you know!"

There's no such thing as an unintentional pun. By saying that phrase you instant and unknowingly make it intentional and some people even do this on purpose it kills me to even think about it. The act of typing or thinking or saying the phrase "no pun intended" makes it intentional. If your pun truly wasn't intended, then why the hell did you even write or say or think it anyway, asshole?

People who point out their puns should be put to sleep (gassed), or killed by a huge fiery explosion where all their parts splatter on the ground in bits! Muhahahaha!

Oh baby,  You know I am right.