Not A Mistake

Chapter 3 "Im Pregnant"

Shandeeh POV

"You disgust me you worseless piece of shit" I could hear that voice in my dream.
I woke up breathing really hard and with water on my eyes.
I was having bad dream.
I thought i was getting better, but that wasn't the case.
I wish for it to be just an nightmare but it wasn't.
That actually happend to me yesterday.
A tear rolled down my cheek.
I didn't want to be weak.
I need to be strong and get this over.
I realize then that I was in Julie's apartment bedroom and not in the house.
I scan the room in search of my friend and her brother Jonathan,but neither of them were in the room.
I saw my bag on the coach and pick an pink tank top and black baggypants.
I had an nice steamy shower.
I wanted to scratch the dirty feeling I had.
I wanted to wash the thoughts of his hands around my body,,his moans when he was raping me,,his eyes full of lust,,his voice.

I wanted to wash out every memory of HIM,so i scrab and scrab my body until it turned red and i couldn't stop.

"Deeh hurry up i made lunch.Im eating it all."
All of sudden Julie screamed.
Getting out of the shower and throwing my clothes on i went downstairs and Julie was finishing making lunch,but no sign of her brother.

"Hey doll.
How did you slept well?.
I hope you did,because i paid an arm and a leg for that mattras." she said jokingly,but i knew that she actually in the right mood to make jokes and surely not after what happend yesterday especially with Matt
She was hurt and i had the fault.
Deep down she was feeling terrible.

"Uhm I think Im OKAY.
Where is Jona by the way?" I asked,because there is still no sign of Jona anywhere.

"Im happy to hear that Deeh and he went back to Toronto.Business you know,but he send you a big hug and told me to tell you to call him whenever you need.By the way why don't we go shopping?And then to watch a movie and maybe then to Remii's Spa.
That will help us relax a little" she said smiling at me.
How could i say no.
I needed distraction too or i will end up killing myself with sadness and shamed.
Life needed to go on.
I have work very hard to get where i am to get beating down.
Now is the time to be strong.
I must admit I miss Jona he was so nice to me yesterday.
'Why aren't every man like that'

"Sure Julie"
Maybe that would help me "RELAX",but I deep down i knew would never forget that I was raped.
After changing in some jeans and an cute white blouse and heels.
We went to the mall.
Must admit that it was pretty relaxing and i had a great time,but that horrible night still was replaying in my head.

Later that night I went home.
Put all my new clothes in my closeth and went to sleep.
Tommorow will be another day and Im going back to work.
Hopefully I will get this over in a couple of weeks.
Im an psychologist after all.
I can handle this.
I always do.

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6 Weeks Later...

"So tell me Clarissa.
How are you feeling today?" I said to my patient.
Clarissa Hammer is also a raped victim.
She was abuse sexually and mentally by her uncle since she was 6.
He is now in jail for raping 3 other girls and his daughters.

"Well,I am really feeling better after the therapy and I am more confident about myself and I am also not scared of getting close to people,but I still have nightmares and... ,, Well i dont know I think I may be inlove with a boy in my class" she said smiling sweetly at me.

I smiled back at her.
I was happy that she was making progress.
She even liked someone.
When she came here first she was an complete mess.
She didn't even want to talk to me or be alone with me,but with help and some common sense she started trusting me and has been more open to me.
Now she had been 3 years in therapy and is doing very well.
She even gain some weight,because she was struggling with eating disorders too.

She looked very paled and unhealthy.
Suddenly I felt the urge to puke.
I ran to the restroom and empty all contents of my stomach in the toilet.
I didn't know why I felt so sick all these days.
I felt exhausted and change moods like a madman.
I could be happy and in seconds I wanted to cry my soul out.
I ate like if I never had ate before and the nightmares are still haunting me.
I have constant headache and nausea.
Damn not even a pregnant woman is like me.

Then it hit me 'Did I get my period last month?'.

"Oh noo god,,please god dont let it be what I am thinking it is." I said to myself crying,but Im a professional and have a patient that is waiting for me,so I compose myself,wash my face with cold water and enter the room and give Clarissa my excuses and the biggest faked smile I could.

She asked me if I was okay and I told her that everything was fine and I just ate something that didn't go well with my stomach.

Later that day I finished working.
I decide to call my friend Julie on my way home.
Maybe she could help me in this situation.
After two rings she answered her phone.
I did explain her what was happening to me.
She told me to meet her at her place and I agreed.

In last than 10 minutes I was outside her fancy apartment complex.

Knock Knock Knock

"Hey Deeh" she said smiling at me and then embarce me in a hug.

"Julie your suffocating me" I said laughing.

"I just missed you so much Deeh.
How is my noisy friend doing?" she said

"Uhm im not good Julie.
I have all these crazy sympthoms.
I think I might be pregnant of that man Julie.
Im so scared
If im right, what im i going to do?
A baby was not in plans amd certainly not in this way." I said with watery eyes.

"Ow babygirl don't cry.
You have me.
Im going to help you no matter what happens.
That's why friends are friends,but Deeh did you take a pregnancy test??" she asked me.

"Uhmm no i didn't.
Im scared Julie.
I dont have the guts to do it"

"Don't you worry im here for you.
come let we go to the pharmacy." Julie said taking her purse and car keys from the table by the door.

We went to the pharmacy and bought 4 different tests.
They were the best and the most secured ones.(expensive ones too).
We went to Julie's apartment and I open the tests and I pee on them.
All the tests said that you will need to wait 2-5 minutes.

So we wait.
I was terrorize.
What would I said to my parents,my brothers,my friends?What if they asked me who is the father of my baby?What would I do with the baby of the man that raped me.The man that took my virginity and ruined my life.
The minutes passed,so slowly that it felt like a lifetime.

"Deeh i think the time has passed.
let we go check these test would we?"
I open the bathroom door slowly and walked to were the tests were.
I was shaking like crazy.
What if the test said positive?
Would i keep this baby?
I don't think i would, but it will also be a sin.
Well let's we hope it is negative and i can just move on with my life.

Taking one of the test on my shaking hands and trying to read it.
I read it once again.'Oh no no no no no no no this cant be happening to me,,what I am going to do'

I cry so hard.
I had never cried so hard in my entire life not even when my grandparents died or when I was raped nor when Franchesko died.
Julie ran in the bathroom after hearing my sobs and asked me what happend.
I couldn't respond,so she grab one of the tests and looked at me with a shocked face.

"Julie Im PREGNANT,,Im having HIS BABY"

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Hey people so this was it.

I hope you enjoy it.

What do you think she will do with her baby??

Do you think she must tell Max that she is pregnant with his baby??

Well be pending..

VOTE COMMENT AND MOST IMPORTANT READDDDDD.....