tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock
all i hear. the endless tick-tocking of my clock. lying alone. staring at my screen. no noise. only the tick-tock tick-tock. i wish it would stop. i wish it would just be quiet. but it won't. it will keep ticking and tocking. driving me slowly insane, like a slow drip from a tap.
but more noise starts. the clock is slowly bleeding out and my brain fights the silence. my mind fucks with me once again. shes not here. she couldn't help anyway. but that doesn't matter now. because i'm alone. and my mind does not like being left alone. its eating away at me now. i can't stop it. its ruthless. unforgiving. i wish it was empty. i wish i was dead. but i'm not.
its funny really. i started smoking to fit in and seem cool. but now i'm dependent. i crave that hit. that rush of nicotine through my blood and through my brain. it calms me. my brain is quiet. if even for a second. i won't sleep. i know it. but still i try to pretend like my brain is not there. like it is not killing me. but slowly the hits kill my brain. draining my thoughts. and soon enough my thoughts will finally be dead. and it will just be me. staring blankly at my screen. inevitably left with the slow and dreaded
tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock.
it won't stop.
