A Public Poetry Diary

Regret

I tried to love you,
I guess I still do,
And whenever I saw you,
I was happy.

But when you weren't there,
It hurt.
I regretted everything,
I regretted being with you,
I regretted letting you care for me.

I wanted to reject you
And push you away.
It felt like I shouldn't have you.

I'm not sure it was regret,
I just felt this sorrow deep in my heart,
Telling me
"No, you can't."

My heart didn't let me get attached,
Not when I knew what could happen.
Not when I knew the inevitable.

I hid in a small box,
Calling it home for
as long as I could remember.

A home made of a jail cell,
Where every day I was careful and wary.
"Don't let anyone get to close,
People bite"
It would say.
And I would listen,
I had learned only to trust home.