Against One's Wishes

Chapter 10

When Louis wakes up, his eyes slowly adjust to the sunlight in his room... that's when he notices the window is open and chilly air is slipping in.

He sits up some and sees Harry sitting on the window pane again, glancing out at the sky, so it seems to Louis.

Louis moves in the bed, sitting up slowly and Harry's immediately looking his way.

"Hey," Harry says in a small whisper. He hits the joint between his fingers again and sighs out the hit, "nice nap?"

"I... I suppose so," Louis replies and places Harry's pillow back on the bed beside him. "What time is it?"

"Almost 4," Harry answers, "I didn't want to wake you... seemed like you needed the sleep."

"I guess I did," Louis says back quietly and searches the nightstand next to him for his cigarettes. "When did you..."

"I got back at 2 something," Harry answers for Louis. He looks at him, "kinda just sat around... watched you sleep."

"Really?" Louis asks slowly.

Harry nods and blows out another hit, "yeah, well, your books are fucking boring."

Louis finally smiles a little as he stares over at Harry. "You could've woken me... I wouldn't have mind."

"Thought about it, but," Harry starts and gets up from the window sill and takes a seat on the bed, "you looked rather peaceful curled up to my pillow and shirt there."

Louis looks down and sees Harry's shirt still lying beside him. Louis' cheeks go red and he smiles a little. "Yeah, well, it was sort of in the bed."

"Right," Harry nods, "and I'm a star on Broadway... oh wait..."

Louis chuckles a little and flicks his ashes, then looks back at Harry, wanting to ask where he was and wanting to talk to him about a million things... but Louis doesn't know how to now.

"I'm... I'm sorry... for earlier," Harry starts while he's playing with his rings.

Louis is shocked that he's even brought it up, but he smiles a little nonetheless. "It's... it's fine, Harold. I understand that you're struggling with this..."

"Thing is, I shouldn't be," Harry quickly replies and looks at Louis, his emotions overtaking him. "I mean, yeah, I guess I should be because of who you are and all... but... at the same time, when I'm with you, Lou, it's like... none of that matters to me. Nothing does. It doesn't matter to me what the world thinks, or what your father even thinks..."

Louis remains quiet, biting his lip as he stares back at Harry.

"... But then, reasoning sets in sometimes and I... I can't help but think how we're playing with fire here," Harry continues, his voice breaking. "You have so much in your life ahead of you, and yet, you want to throw it away on me."

"Harry," Louis sits up more, Harry's body only inches away now, "you already know how I feel about all of this... I would run away from here with you in a fucking heartbeat. I have enough money for us both to survive for a while..."

"What about my mum and sister?" Harry asks suddenly as he stares at Louis, "Louis, I have a life here, I've told you that... and I have every intention on bringing my family here. How could I just leave?"

Louis stares down at the bed again, at a loss for words; he knows he's more than willing to leave New York... but he also knows that he doesn't have as much to lose as Harry does.

Louis wouldn't care to disappear from his dad, or Alice... but Harry... Harry has a career here and a life built on that career. And he knows the last thing Harry wants to do is leave his mum and sister in the middle of the war.