Against One's Wishes

Chapter 20

Harry's eyes are slowly opening the next morning, seeing the rain still coming down outside his window. He sighs and looks at Louis sleeping sound next to him, his lips slightly parted as one side of his face is buried in the pillow.

Harry grins a little and covers Louis before he's slowly getting up and checking the time; he almost groans when he realises it's only 8:30.

He uses the bathroom and flushes the toilet before he's stopping and looking his face over in the mirror. He sees 3 different bruises on his face as he's running his finger around his eye.

He lets out a deep breath before he's trying to fix his unruly curls next. His body is aching and he only wishes he could sleep the entire day now.

Harry starts fighting thoughts that are racing through his mind; was Ben really behind this? Was he trying to hurt Louis?

Harry shakes his head while he's turning off the bathroom light and heading to the kitchen. He puts on coffee, then he's walking to his room and grabbing a joint before he looks back at Louis again.

And for a moment, Harry can't move; he's mesmerized by Louis asleep in his covers. And all Harry wants to do is crawl into the bed and take Louis into his arms and hold him... until he falls asleep listening to Louis breathe.

Harry hears someone knocking on his front door and he's sighing and hurrying to answer it, assuming Nick is already here.

He opens the door and sees Ben however, and Harry's taking a step back for a moment.

"What are you doing here?" He finally asks in a low tone.

"I wanted to check on you...," Ben begins as he's looking Harry's face over closely, "I really hate that this happened to you..."

"I'm fine," Harry's saying quickly, "really. You don't have to check on me, alright?"

"Sorry... I was just... in the area," Ben replies slowly.

"Yeah, I doubt that," Harry nods, "just go. Please. I... I don't want you here."

Ben stays still for a moment before he's saying quietly, "so, that's it? I'll see you when you get back from your vacation, surely..."

"Maybe when I return to the theatre, but...," Harry's biting his lip, "That's it, Ben. So, I'd appreciate it if you'd... not come to see me backstage when I return. Ok? And... give me space from now on."

Ben closes his mouth, his eyes staying on Harry's. He finally nods some and tries to smile. "Ok. Fine. Hey, we had our time, I get it. You can't erase memories, I suppose."

Harry watches Ben forcing a smile and for a moment he wants to let guilt consume him.

"I know your sister and mum will be here tomorrow too, so," Ben is saying with a small grin. "tell them I said hello...."

"I will have my mum call you if you want," Harry's interrupting and trying to nod as best as he can.

"Look, just make sure you keep in touch. I mean, we've been friends for a long time, H," Ben manages to say.

"I will," Harry's saying quickly, "just... go. Please."

Ben nods some before he's staring at Harry for a long pause, then turning around and leaving.

Harry lets out a deep breath as he's closing the door. He stands back against it and shakes his head, wondering why that was harder to do than he expected.

He knows his heart doesn't love Ben... and he doesn't think he ever could. But Harry will admit that a part of him doesn't want to let Ben go; after all, Ben is all he has known for so long.