A Broken Heart Writes

Bonding III: Divergent

It's been a while hasn't it? Wonder what you've all been up to, but probably not as much as you are wondering what i and Rose Mela have been up to. You are right though, you are right to wonder because that's all i can give you. Thoughts of possibilities of what became of us, here's the reality.

It's been months since we went on a date, months since we kissed, oh and months since we last spoke. Yeah, we stopped talking, and i know you are probably thinking 'What in hell happened?' Well, this is why.

-----

"Kosa please! Don't be an introvert. Let's just go and see Zack"

My high school friend Tola came over today and now he's forcing me to leave my comfort zone. He's tall, fair, built and is a year older than me.

"Sure i don't go out much but i'm no introvert Tola" i tell him with a straight face feeling offended.

"Then prove it!" he says and i shake my head after i succumb to his request. So i drive us to Zack's house five minutes away. Once we arrive, Tola calls Zack to come out. And guess what.

"Wow he said he's not around but that he's on his way."

"Tola! now you've brought me out for no reason!" i raise my voice. "It's my turn. We're going to see HER."

"By 'HER' do you mean Eil-"

"Yes HER!"

"I thought you guys had a huge fight and ended things?"

I don't answer him. It's not that i don't want to, i can't. I don't even know why i want to go there. Especially after what happened the last time i was there.

We've arrived. I knock on the door that brings back flashes of a heart breaking memory, while Tola calls Zack, telling him to meet us here. Then the door opens......

She looks surprised, that's expected but the inability to speak wasn't. There is just this awkward silence.

"Eileen how far now?" Tola breaks the silence as he walks passed me, gives HER a hug and walks into the house.

"Hi" she finally says with a genuine smile on. Like she's trying to say, let's begin again.

Why? Why can't i stop my lips from stretching across my face? Why can't i stop feeling the way i feel when i see her smile?

"Hey"

And like that, it was like nothing had changed. She's using her phone and leaning on the couch with her feet on my lap. With my left hand i use my phone and with my right i massage her feet, Tola has a couch all to himself and funny enough we were all still engaged in a conversation. After a while Zack and some other unexpected friends come to disturb the peace. It's been noisy ever since but even with all the noise and commotion being caused by our friends, she's drawing closer to me and i find myself drawing closer to her.

I'm a fool, I know.

But if this is what it feels like to be a fool, I'll be a fool for as long as i live. I don't know how we got into her bedroom. But that's where we are, on the bed, neither of us have our clothes on. Her legs are wrapped tight around my waist, her fingers desperately trying to get a grip on my skin. Motivated by the soft moans she lets out, I keep thrusting and devouring her neck.

"I love you" she manages to let out

The noise turns to quiet. I can see HER now. HER beautiful brown eyes, HER dark skin. I had forgotten how she looked, but i can see HER perfectly now.
Then in the blink of an eye, HER skin changes colour, HER nose isn't HER nose anymore, HER eyes aren't HER eyes. And HER lips...

"Mela!?" i yell as i leap off my bed exhaling.

What am I doing? 

I grip my hair in torment.

-----

I've been avoiding Rose Mela since i had the dream. I really don't know what i'm doing nor am I considering the pain I can cause. What was i thinking? This can't go on. Rose Mela doesn't deserve this.

"You can't love them both!" i yell at myself in the hallway, looking somewhat mentally disturbed in the eyes of fellow students. I keep walking, with an empty head this time, can't risk looking mad...twice.

At a distance i see Rose Mela, but there's someone else. A guy? i speed up towards their direction. What does he think he's doing!?

"Hey babe" i say as i place my hand at her back along with a kiss on her cheek.

"Who's this?" i ask turning to the guy.

He smiles

"I'm Justin, a friend. See you around Rose." He gives a wave and leaves.

I can't hold back the scorn look on my face as i watch him leave.

"Calm down Romeo, he's just a friend." She laughs as she wraps her arms around me looking straight up at me. I look down at her, i feel pain, guilt, care and affection.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She pouts

"Because you're beautiful"

She looks at me with much concern as i sniff and wipe the tears fighting to fall out.

"You know i enjoy looking at beautiful people" i force a smile

"Kosa what's wrong?"

"It's nothing." I say as i slowly detach her arms from my body.

"I'll see you later"

----

I lay on my bed exhausted. Why did i do that? I'm only making matters worse.

My phone vibrates indicating that someone just sent me a message. It's an unknown number but it rings a bell. A bell i do not want to hear at this point in time. A rusty bell that lets out the most deafening sound waves.

"Hey baby, its been what? a year? I'm coming to London for my sister's graduation. I'll see if i can squeeze out time for us. Can't wait to see you again😊❤️"