That's When We Uncover [Jensen Ackles + Misha Collins | Cockles | mxm]

Chapter Forty-Three

A blazing sun hangs low in the evening sky, painted across with pastel streaks of orange and yellow and red. We dine in the backyard, enjoying the last of the golden rays in a cacophony of bubbling laughter and conversation and the clinking of cutlery slicing the hot air.

Inhaling appreciatively, I dig in with gusto. The burgers are deliciously succulent, and Misha makes a house sauce that tastes like mayo and heaven had sex and the sauce is their baby.

He's seated beside me today, which is nice because I can use my fork to flip the croutons from my salad right onto his plate. They're still a little crunchy, but mostly mushy from soaking in the dressing and definitely too soggy for my taste. He likes them, though, and transfers the smaller, crispier fries from his plate to mine, because those I dig.

Misha commandeers the conversation with a story involving Jared and European hotel bars. I watch his silhouette against the backdrop of the setting sun in a trance, a soft smile playing on my lips and my food lying mostly forgotten. I know I look at him with a kind of awe, like the sun shines out of his ass or something, and it's a problem. But I can't fight the attraction. I've completely lost my chill when it comes to this man, and it'll take an archeological fucking expedition or maybe NASA to find it.

He's got this off-beat charisma, this thrall to him. Everything he says is pure comedic gold. He's fearless, unpredictable, intoxicating - and nothing about him fits within the frame of any preconceived mold. It's that singularity of his that has me so far past crazy in love that I can't even see the border. It's evident in the way he speaks and acts and carries himself that there is nothing generic, standard or normal about Misha. He's handmade: one-of-kind, unique, unlabelled, a wilderness-wandering kind of guy who observes the boundaries that suit him and stomps the rest down with big shit-kicker boots until they're a freaking crater in the earth. I find that ridiculously attractive. That's why, between the two of us, he's usually the enforcer of his own rules while I'm the crumbling façade of will. I could never tell him what to do.