Sotus: The Gear of My Heart [completed]

Chapter 29

Max's POV

I must admit, it was quite a shocking view seeing P'Arthit in front of me when my sister introduced him as my mentor. After all these three years, after seeing him again i cant stop my feelings.

The thing is, ever since P'Kong me and P'Arthit got into a love triangle disputes three years ago i told p'arthit that I will forget about him and would consider him as senior and hopefully we can continue our senior-junior relationship but i couldnt.

Everyday in my freshmen year i always avoid both of them. Thankfully my school was big was chances of encountering both of them were very low. I get out of his sight. Not for his sake but for mine. It was so painful to see someone i like holding hands with somebody else. I knew it that time, my 19 year old self knew that I was late to the game but i also knew that compare to P'kong, my feelings werent any less. If only i had met P'Arthit sooner. If only i was born 2 or 3 years earlier than i am now. Everything would've changed right? I would meet him before p'Kong, i would fall in love with him before p'kong,,he would've been mine.

P'kwang told me to go home after I already saw P'Arthit and did some self introduction. Judging by P'Arthit's expression when he saw me, he was just as shocked as i was but he was also so calm afterward..maybe he has zero feelings for me. Of course he doesnt, what am I wishing for...he already has P'kong but i didnt know whether or not they were still together.

I got home after that day and I quickly threw myself on my bed clenching my own hair as i rub it messily. Every piece of my emotions gathered up in my heart that i wanted to explode. Why does seeing his face again gives such an impact in my life. Right now, I'm turning crazy. The whole night I was tossing and turning. I was crying, on the verge of death, emotionally.

The next day i showed up to my first day of internship. I make sure to come early so i can see him quickly but he didnt talk to me much during work...maybe he's uncomfortable with my presence? But i dont think he is. He doesnt even care about my existence as much as he impacted me. Even though it pains me to see him but i try to keep my normal expression on, i act just like a college kid who just got a job but deep deep inside, i still love him very much.

In lunch time, me, my sister and P'Arthit sat together enjoying our meals. As much as i want my food to taste good, it keeps stucking in my throat every swallows just because he sits in front of me.

After i heard that he'll be going to the small reunion party that p'bright invited on the phone at lunch, i went down to the grab my bike as fast as i can after work so i can make it looks like a coincident that i'm just ready to go home.

I saw p'Arthit waiting to get a cab then i drove in front of him and asked if he would want a lift to the party. Because of my constant insistence, he agreed with me. I'm so happy. Even if that moment was just a short period of time that i get to stay the closest to him but i wont take it for granted.

when he was right behind my back, my mind went blank. Almost as if i couldnt focus on the road at all. The ride was silent and awkward and i didnt know what to do, gosh. I have to say something.

"P'Arthit, khap.." i added "are you shocked regarding my sudden appearance?" This is just a question that i've been wanting to ask

"Not really" he answered. I knew it...i'm not in any position to get my hopes up.

"Are you mad at me?"

"About what?"

"About three years ago"

He told me that he didnt keep that in mind anymore. That kind of hurts. Haha. The day that i confessed to him was the day that i brought all of my guts a lot without a single speck to spare. I took risks trying to convey my feelings to him but to him it was just a normal confession that he'd sooner forget

"Are you and p'kong still together?" I further inquired. I need to know if i still got a chance. If i do, i wont let it slide off again.

"Yeah, we moved in together now" he replies. Yikes. God hasnt been on my side at all.

"I'm so envious. I wish i can find someone true" i told him..i was trying to infer to him.

"Yeah, you'll find one, one day" he said to me.

Yeah, i wish. These pasts three years all i've been doing was sleeping around with girls and never been in a serious relationship because i couldnt forget P'Arthit. I thought maybe i've changed my taste from girls to guy so i started to go after other guys but it didnt work. No one satisfied me. All i see inside of every guy i made out with was P'Arthit. I dont think i would be able to find my true love.

Still a long way to go for my internship and i dont know if i can handle this anymore. It's so depressing and such a torture...I'm afraid i might lose myself. P'Arthit...i never know that you can ruin my emotion this much. I'm in a mess now. Help me

Hey guys, this is a short chapter for you guys to get a clear insight of Max's thoughts
And for those who wonders who i choose for Max in chapter 13 or so..
tada here he is!! @lee.Thanat on IG. He's from Uprince: Survey. I chose him because appearance wise, he looks a lot like Max...

Thanks for reading and enjoying this short chapter of mind...i know this fanfic is dragging so long but it will end soon 😪💕. I honestly drag this ff because i love the couple so much that i dont want it to end. Please vote and cmt 💕💕