Sotus: The Gear of My Heart [completed]

Chapter 36

Trust me guys, these past 15+ days of silence, i didnt die. My head was full of ideas but my hand refused to cooperate and..i've been dying over Produce 101 and...yeah...xD because of PD101 i've been sleeping at the average 1-2am every single night for over week :') *whispers: all the guy that i sold my soul for are all younger than me :') WHYYY* *cough cough guanlin* *cough seonho ma son*

I contemplated about last chapter and decided to not care so much xD it was so much easier 😂😂
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There was something that Arthit hesitated to tell his boyfriend after the past incident that left a traumatic scar. At night, even under Kongpob's embrace, he'd dreamed about really emotionally torturing image of waking up next Max, naked and Kongpob suddenly slammed the door with a rotten view of Arthit trying to cover himself, explaining to Kongpob that he was unconscious and it wasn't his fault, he didnt cheat, his heart didnt wavered but Kongpob didnt believe a word he said. 'Seeing is believing' but sometimes what you see wasnt always the truth. The dream was so lucid and vivid as sweat trickled down his forehead in the middle of the night, fidgeting relentlessly. He dreamt that he was being left stranded and helpless. He dreamt that he would never be happy again. Every time his eyes shut like a blind, it was like an illusion of deception started to mess with his mind, projecting images that scar his emotion for eternity.

His eyes immediately flickered open like a switch. Heart racing to a maximum speed, constantly drawing sharp breaths. Waking up after a bad dream, what relief. He jolted his face to glance at Kongpob's who looked like he was already in a deep sleep. How he wanted to say that he pretended like he forgive max, how he pretended to be okay with everything just to lift off the weights on Kongpob's chest, how he became an actor of his own mind, deceptive toward his own heart that everything is okay.

Arthit came back from work with immense pressure of seeing Kongpob's face smiling as warm as the summer heat. Even in this condition, Kongpob still accepted him as before but he'd just wish that Kongpob would get mad at him instead of crying at the balcony alone blaming himself for his inability to protect arthit.

"Ah, you're back P!" Kongpob said

"Sorry, i have a lot of piled work today " Arthit let the door behind him swung itself shut as he loosened up his neck tie.

"It's okay, you already texted me about it.."  the younger male uttered with the only awaiting expression. He was excited to get his dinner served with Arthit which he bought at 7-11. Arthit had been cooking everyday so he thought it wouldnt hurt to let Arthit rest for anday

"Are you hungry, P?" Kongpob added.

"Yeah, I already grabbed some food with P'Kwang" Arthit replied with an exhausted tone.

Even though Kongpob's expression fell, he'd still put on a smile. It was okay, he thought. He should've had realized that Arthit would eat out somewhere.

While Arthit was taking of his shoes and scooted to the sofa with a sigh, Kongpob glanced at the 7-11 food that were sitting on the counter. It was pretty disappointing that he couldn't eat it with Arthit as planned but he tried to absorb whatever optimism he had left in his mind and shove the food inside the fridge. It wasnt him to get upset with travail matters. (I wrote this while listening to both of the SOTUS Ost and i'm ded)

"Kongpob...have you eaten yet..!" Arthit murmured from the couch.

The younger male hesitated, pursing his lips being indecisive whether to lie or just tell the truth. If he said he waited for him he would made Arthit feel bad about himself though his stomach was growling with a tingling sensation from the interior.