Sotus: The Gear of My Heart [completed]

Chapter 35

Chapter 35 already?? That's so fast. I remember starting this fanfic like it was yesterday 😭.
-
After Nai ran off on Max and with all the word he said felt like a huge slap on Max's face. It was one big wake up call. He questioned himself why was Arthit's punch didnt hurt as much as Nai's word bashing toward him. It was like after what he did to Arthit was the last speck of his feelings. He did what his heart desired. He got punched and everything end. He was broken free but the sense of guilt still clung onto him like ghost. Having to feel nothing at all set him free from his cage that he resided in for 3 years. He could let go of the painful rope. But why did he felt empty..like an empty shell with no soul. He really wanted to apologize to Arthit regarding his irresponsible and revolting touches without consent but by doing that foul action, he finally gave his all. He finally be able to set Arthit away from his heart, from the heart that had been weighed by unrequited feelings for years years that he felt so weird once it was light and empty again. Why didnt P'Arthit just punch me in the face way earlier so i can get rid of this feelings from the start.

"Nai"

This name popped up in the back of his mind with no apparent reason. Why did it suddenly ring the name in his head, was it because he took Nai's heart for granted that the boy's lust kept haunting him.

The time when Nai dashed out of Max's apartment while wiping his tears trying to keep his component. He was a small boy whose sensitive heart had been constantly abuse by guys that he love. The first guy cheated on him, the second guy-max- the guy that he thought would change everything mistreated him. What was to hope for. Nai arrived to class Late due to the distance from Max's apartment to the university that was located in the suburb of Bangkok.

Everybody drew their attention to Nai who was interrupting the class with his tardiness eyes were red, not so swollen as he silently took a seat next to his friend. Jay, his seat neighbor and his best friend noticed his red eyes.

"Hey, what happened?" Jay asked

Nai shook his head "nothing.."

"What? You'd better give me a proper explanation this break time or i'm gonna break your neck!" Jay frowned. "just..calm down for now" he lightly tapped Nai's shoulder. He was genuinely concerned about Nai's well-being despite being Nai's best friend, Jay is as straight as a tough metal but it doesnt mean that he neednt care about his only gay friend.

Nai took a deep breath and nodded, doing his utmost ability to sweep his attention back to the lectures.

Break time wasnt a long await as Jay immediately asked Nai's tons of questions as if he'd been interrogated by a police for a crime. Nai furrowed his eyebrows as too many questions were asked. It were all "what happened" "who hurt you!!" "Did your parents hit you?". Jay was overly protective to his best friend

"Just ask one question at a time, will ya!" Nai exclaimed aggressively

"Okay, okay" jay held up both of his hand as in a surrender sign "let's start with...never mind just tell me the reason for this red eyes of yours!" Jay pinched Nai's cheeks

Nai lowered down his eyes to the table "you remember the Max guy i told you since high school and just recently?" Jay nodded "yeah...he raped a guy that he has a crush on for so long.." Jay's jaw fell. "I went to his apartment this morning which was the reason why i was late to return back his key and....his room was mess and i just saw him hugging his knees and i asked him what was wrong. He told me that his desire got the best of him and he couldnt control himself when he's around that guy" nai exhaled sharply and continued "it was really disappointing because I thought i offered him my body so i hopefully could make him forget everything..but he.. As much as i feel bad for the guy he raped, i myself wasnt being hurt any less. He played with my feelings..he rejected me once but then we still do it for some times. I was just his sex partner, a fucking toy that he can relieve himself and called out other person's name in front of me. But I fucking hate myself for loving him...so stupid of me!" Nai sniffed his snorts when tears started to trickle from the corner of his eyes