dear violet ➳ andy biersack (currently editing)

27

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chapter
twenty six
violet

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The entire band was awake and about now, aside from Andy who stayed locked up in his room. It made me wonder if he hated me now, so much that he'd go out of his way to avoid me.

Nobody asked me any questions, for which I was incredibly grateful. Although CC did frown at me when I ignored the spread of breakfast on the dining room table and simply poured myself a glass of orange juice before retreating back to my room.

I was just closing the door behind me, when a hard and severe voice said, "Violet, why did you draw this up?"

I froze, feeling my bones turn brittle and my skin go cold.

Slowly, I turned around to find Jake standing at the foot of my bed, holding the makeshift calender I'd written with a snapped pencil earlier this morning.

I struggled to speak. My mouth felt dry as cotton. I stared stupidly at the piece of paper in his hand, and the circled date scrawn onto it. The date I would commit suicide.

The way Jake was looking at me was half frightening. His expression was blank and hard, eyes slightly narrowed and his jet black hair stark against his pale skin.

Eventually I managed to say in an alarmed stutter, "Jake - Jake... I - It's complicated."

"Oh, I'm sure." And in one quick movement he tore the calender in two, letting the now shredded strips of paper waft to the ground.

"Hey!" I burst out in alarm, taking two quick steps forward.

"You don't get to just do something like this in a momemt where you wallow in your own sadness!" Jake half shouted, retracting his fingers into tight fists. "Violet, what the fuck? You can't do this!"

I felt a mixture of fury and betrayal jolt through me, and my face heat up. "It's not your life! You don't live in my head! You have no idea what it's like being me, okay? So just back off!"

Jake advanced towards me until we were standing mere inches apart. I could practically feel the fury radiating off him.

"No. No, I won't back off. Because I have more faith in you than that. And what if I do back off? What then, huh? You just go and sit in a corner and have a panic attack? Be a helpless little girl and wait for everything to fix itself? It won't, Violet! It fucking won't! You're probably going to have to deal with all this depression bullshit for the rest of your goddamn life, and you have to realise that your life is actually worth a fucking lot! People love you for a reason! And either you can fucking fight your stupid illness because you know you can get more out of life or you can just mope around and lock yourself up in your room and kill yourself because you've given up on life and you'd rather let yourself rot! Which will it be, huh? Which will it fucking be?"

Without thinking, I violently jerked my wrist towards Jake, throwing out the entire glass of orange juice into his face.

He blinked rapidly, reaching up a hand in shock to the front of his shirt, which was now completely sopped.

Still fuming, I strode right past him and slammed the empty glass down on the bedside table before grinding out through my teeth, "You are a fucking arsehole Jake Pitts."