Want what you can't have (TEACHER/STUDENT) 18+

Chapter 27 - Love, Hope and Misery (18+)

This chapter contains kinda mature content.

My eyes are tightly squeezed shut; knowing something that could change my mood drastically for bad or good is just behind the thin layer of skin that is my eyelids makes my heart best faster. I force one of my eyes open enough to read the small line of writing that was on my phone.

Joshua: "Love hope and misery - Jake Bugg. Listen to it. X"

I read the text again, confused... What the fuck. I was expecting an apology or at least an explanation on why he just left without saying a word; not a nice old song suggestion. Fucking jerk. The anger boils up inside of me as I jab the keyboard on my phone; searching for the song.

I listen to it and at first the rage is still running through my blood; the fact he just leaves without telling me then has the nerve to send me a shitty text with a shitty song. But as the song goes on; the anger is replaced with sadness and I feel tears brimming in my eyes. I try to blink them away feeling silly crying over someone I knew for like a day; but the song makes me feel all kind of emotions.

"They say it comes in threes,
love, hope and misery
And the first two have gone
and tell me if I'm wrong I hope that I am
and you don't hate me
Don't be mad, I'm just a man
And I know, and I know, and I know that you must hate me"

The salty tears fall over the edge and leave a warm trickle down my cheeks. I don't know what to think, what is he trying to say? I sit for what feels like hours trying to analyse the song.

love hope and misery?

The first two have gone and tell me if I'm wrong I hope that I am?

Love and hope?

What the fuck is he talking about. I stare at the text for a little longer fighting with myself on wether I should just ask him what he is trying to say, I decide to text him back.

Me: Joshua come on, what are you talking about? Where are you? And what does that song mean? I don't want to play your little riddle game.

Four hours pass and he still hasn't texted; it's getting late now and I've listened to the song at least 10 more times. I can't stop replaying the lyrics in my head. love hope and misery...don't be mad I'm just a man. I just want to know what he was thinking when he told me to listen to it?

I gather I should stop torturing myself trying to read his mind, and try and distract myself. After grabbing a towel from downstairs, noticing my mam still isn't home; I slide under the warm water of the shower and listen to some Disney. My two favourite things.

I can feel my skin starting to become wrinkly which tells me I should probably get out the shower soon. I step in to the cold air and wrap the soft towel around me. The house is silent as I open the bathroom door and check the time. 11:48. Where the hell is my mam?

I run downstairs after quickly shoving my hair in to a messy bun and throwing on the only pyjamas I could find; which was an awkwardly sexy, black lacy night dress that is basically never worn.