Want what you can't have (TEACHER/STUDENT) 18+

Chapter 23 - DAY 6

I didn't sleep at all last night. My eyes and face are burning from crying. I can't think about him without tears falling from my eyes.I thought I'd found someone who genuinely liked me for me. Too good to be true.

Last night I'd sat on the toilet floor and silently cried to myself while Jack and Casey slept in the room next door.

We are supposed to be going to Epcot today but I can't face leaving the room; especially not with him. I pretend I don't feel well and lay in bed. Jack knows something isn't right and offers to stay with me but I don't want any company I just want to be alone.

For hours I just lie in bed and stare in to space. I'm sad but if anything I feel like a fucking idiot for letting him lead me on like he did. I even thought about letting him take my virginity, FUCK.

I hear my stomach rumbling and decide I should probably run down to the cafe and grab one of the blueberry muffins. No one I know will see me anyway; they're all out having fun while I lie around feeling sorry for myself.

I think about getting dressed; and groan to myself. I end up putting bikini bottoms and a long t-shirt on. I tie my hair in to a high ponytail and leave the room, not caring how I looked. I go towards the elevator and wait, the doors open and I'm instantly hit with shock.

Joshua is standing in front of me; his eyes are red and puffy and his plain grey t shirt is crumpled. His hair flat to his head. We just stand and look at each other; not knowing what to do or say.

He opens his mouth like he's going to say something, before his whole persona changes; like something clicks inside of him. He stands up straight, looks me up and down and laughs to himself before walking straight past me. I stand still; my legs shaking underneath me.

I don't know what to do, one part of me wants to run over to him and ask him what the fuck he was thinking... But the other wants me to be strong and move on. I look back to find him strolling towards his room; sipping the drink he was holding.

He whistles to himself, a happy tune.

I step inside the lift and listen intently as the doors shut, the painful melody getting quieter. Before long I'm standing on my own. The silence ringing in my ears. I feel sick - how can someone be so content with the amount of pain they caused someone.

The eerie silence is broken with a loud ding; followed by the slit of light as the doors slide open. I shake my head and wobble out of the lift. I walk out the doors. I hear a couple laugh. I wander past the pool. A man is singing to his pregnant partners stomach. I saunter towards the cafe. A boy and girl share a drink.

My eyes are stinging and I can't seem to think about anything else; why is he effecting me so much. I don't get it.

I take a couple of muffins and swiftly make my way back to my room. I lie back on my bed and think about the first time I laid eyes on him; he was late.

His tie was wonky. His hair messy. His light blue shirt untucked. His emerald eyes glistening. His clean cut stubble. His friendly chuckle. His flirtatious smirk.Him.

My mind wanders to the last time I seen him. He had looked so different.

His red puffy cheeks. His dull eyes. His arrogant laugh. His crumpled grey t-shirt. His inconsiderate glare.

It was as if someone had taken the person i once knew; and learned to adore, and replaced him with a stranger.

I feel numb. I didn't love him, not even close. It was merely a crush. Which ended up crushing me. I didn't think he'd have such an impact on my life. People surprise you.

It's time to pick myself up and go back to not fucking caring.

Hey guys! I know this is a shorter chapter but I'm already on to writing the next one, so if I end up finishing tonight I'll put it up. My writing style is a lot different; its on purpose. I wanted to make it clear how much of an impact he had on Renee as a character. Hopefully the next chapter will be more fun! Thanks for reading! Love,
Renee X