Siemba ; Unwritten

Prologue

I'd say ''let me start from the beginning.'' 

But that's way too original. I'm going to say what I feel like saying, and you're going to listen to me.

Lotus Breonne. My name of course. I'm not going to tell you how different I am or how I don't do what other girls do. That's for you to decide and not tell me about because I don't give a fuck. I'm here to take care of business. Not fulfill your best fantasies. But I guess I can be nice and tell you little bastards a story or two. I've got enough to last a lifetime anyway. But I don't repeat myself, so listen good and hard to what I have to say.

----

"Baby what's the matter?'' I hear Howard say as he approaches my locker before he stops to stare holes into my cheeks as I continue to pull books for my afternoon classes. Before my face could flood with tears I simply shook my head no and proceeded to close my locker until he grabbed my wrist and waist.

"Baby look at me.''

I failed at looking at him due to the fact that I didn't want anyone to see me cry. I hate crying. Especially in front of hm. Even though he's the one who is always there when I cry. I can't take looking at him anymore, I need him. 

He holds me until we're alone in the hallway at my locker. He looks around and takes me to the stairs closest to my locker and we sit there while he holds me. Still, I feel him staring holes into my face. I look up as the tears race down my cheeks and he starts to speak.

"Baby... Lotus. Talk to me... You can take your time, 'cause we skipping if we have too... Just talk to me Lotus."... I listen intently to him as he speaks and if he'd leave or skip just for me to make sure I'm fine, it makes me think he still has feelings for me. I look up at him and begin to speak.

"You gave up on us and never let me tell you I'd take the risk..."

On que his face softens and he realized all these months I've been down, all these tears and moments of staring into his eyes make sense now... I back out of his grip and watch the guilt rush on his face. He holds his head down as I begin to walk away. I'm grabbed before I can get down the stairs and get turned around into the kiss I've been dreaming of and waiting for.. perfect. He holds my face as our lips move in sync and I drop my books to the side in surprise. I slide my tongue across his bottom lip and he gives me no entrance. His hand romes my body while leaving one to hold my cheek, using his tumb to wipe my tears away. I squeeze the life out of his shirt before pulling away ... Wanting to slap him for the bullshit he's pulled for all this tme. I feel him stare at me again.

''You know why I'm not with you, don't do this to me---'' "You told me you care too much. You told me I meant too much to you to be yours yet your out here getting with who knows... I mean too much to be yours but my innocence doesn't, right ? I mean you do want that-" "Dammit Lotus what do you want from me ?!---" "Your Heart." I interrupt him sharply before he continues. "---I love you. I've never loved anyone but I love you. I never do half this shit for any of those hoes but-'' "I'm just another hoe to you now? Oh so--'' "Lotus stop. If I thought you were just another hoe, I   wouldn't care about anything related to you. I'd fuck you and move on but I can't seem to do that. You wanna' know why?"

I stared at him for a good minute before breathing heavly, and with a shaky breath I managed to get out the simple word. "Why?"

He kept the look of anger on his face before replying to my question with "Because I love you."... Anger shot threw me along with relief, "If you loved me, like you say you do, you'd be with me. I've waited for you and you've played games to avoid talking to me about being with me because I'd take the risk of being yours. And you know what you did? You said you weren't with me because I mean too much to you to be yours, and that you know your ways with females. Therefore, you couldn't give me the commitment I wanted from you."

"Yes and I don't want to hurt you because of my ways. I care about you too much. I love you too much."

"When you love someone enough. You can change and try to do better because you love them. Not give up because you don't believe in yourself. Look I gotta go--" I started picking up my things and he stopped me. "Why are you leaving me now? We aren't done. I'm not done. I need you to stay.''.. Alright maybe that one got me, but I can't keep doing this if I can't have him. I looked up again "Stay like I wanted you to stay?"... More looks of guilt. He grabbed my face and kissed me once again before speaking softly yet sternly.

"Stay with me and be mine Lotus. No games. No hoes. You and then the Bros."