what if | tsukishima kei [REWRITING]

i hadn't looked for you

1: what if i hadn't looked for you

It's not that difficult to find you. You disappear every Friday after class, and I would always find you in the isolated part of the library. I'm not surprised seeing you with your reading glasses on, with coffee cups both empty and full taking up a part of the table.

A short stack of books sit on the opposite side, and in front of you is another, along with your notebook. You don't seem to notice me standing on the other side of the table, and if you did, then you paid me no heed. Your eyes flicker from the open book to your notes, swiftly scribbling q few things before flipping to another page.

I know that you're aiming for the top. Your exams didn't have full marks, but they're high nonetheless. You put effort into everything you do, and if not, at least a little more than I do. You can barely get any sleep, judging from the almost invisible bags under your eyes, and you practically live on caffeine.

I wonder how you aren't dead yet.

Maybe it's because I keep looking out for your careless ass. You owe me so much, it's not even funny, and I'm going to keep you from dying until you repay me.

That's the only reason why I'm caring for you like this, so don't get any other ideas.

“Are you just going to stare at me until I get up and leave?” You speak up, your voice slightly hoarse. “If that's the case, you'll be staying here for a little while longer. It's creepy, by the way.”

“You're going to die from a caffeine overdose,” I tell you bluntly, lowering my headphones to my neck. “You don't want that, do you, stupid?”

“I don't care,” You drawl, resting your cheek against your palm. “It's better than dying through studying. Though if I don't die now, I'll die sooner or later. I don't see a difference.”

“Don't you have a lot more things to do before you die?” I ask you curiously, though the tone of my voice sound like I don't give a crap............which I don't. “Fulfill your dreams or all that inspirational stuff.”

You snort, finally tearing your eyes away from your notes and meeting my eyes. “You're silly, Tsukishima.”

You give me a smirk, and I return the gesture confidently. Surprisingly, I manage out a few words before my mind goes blank, and you laugh softly.

“You don't have to tell me what I already know.”