what if | tsukishima kei [REWRITING]

i had known all along

08: what if i had known all along?

Your Perspective

You sigh, laying upside down on your best friend's bed. It's winter break and you traveled to Tokyo to spend a few days with him. Akaashi is sitting on a chair, his cheek leaning against his palm as you appreciate the silence. The silence that enveloped you just as you told him about him.

"Do you love him?" Akaashi finally speaks, looking down at you expectantly. You open one eye to peek at him before closing it again.

"Love is a big word," You quote, getting up from your position to sit on the edge of the bed. You sigh, pushing back some hair off your face. "I don't love him.....maybe not yet."

"When are you telling him about it?" He asks, staring at you seriously. "You don't have much time left."

"Not now," You reply calmly, hooding your eyes. "I'll tell him I'm leaving, and then I leave, and he forgets about me."

"I don't think he can forget about you, [Name]," Akaashi sighs, leaning back on his chair. "You can't let him have his hopes up waiting for you to return."

"I know I can't," You retort, falling backwards on the bed. "That's....that's why I'm telling him that I'm not coming back."

"You're cruel," He shakes his head and stands up, walking towards the exit. "Try thinking about it, at least."

The door shuts and you lay on his bed quietly. You close your eyes momentarily and sigh once more, a heavy weight being put on your chest. You know that what you're about to do is something you'll regret later, though it's not like you have a choice.

Or maybe you do, but you choose the selfish way.

'I'm sorry, Tsukishima.....' You whisper internally. You roll to your side and try to fall asleep, anything to make you stop feeling what you're feeling right now. And you do. You drift off, loving him even in your sleep.

You feel your chest ache when you wake up moments later with no one by your side.

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Thought I should make a chapter from your perspective :D

Hey so this book is coming to an end :') expect angst because I'm not really fond of happy endings coz when does that ever happen? ;-;

So a few more chapters and this book is going to be marked as complete :(: