The Trio And Her

20 - Im done, mentally

Have you ever thought, at any point, why you're even alive? Like has there ever been a bad day, or did some shit happen, that you just want to hide away? Ever missed someone so much, that you want to...

That's me right now.

You may be asking, 'Leah, what's happened?'. Well wouldn't you like to know. So let's start from a few days ago, shall we?

*Flashback from a week ago*

"Leah, come on, please?" No. I wasn't ready. Just say no, Leah. Think of the cup of tea video in health and social class.

"No," I say, trying to get him off me. But, it seems my arms lack in strength.

I know he's had too much to drink. Otherwise he won't be asking to do this. I just know it. A tear came down the side of my face.

What if he's sober right now? What if, he's just fucking you over? Like everyone does. Like Daniel did. Remember him.

"Leah, you trust me, don't you," he said, looking adore as ever. I nodded.

*End*

"Leah you need to go to school," my mum said, opening the blinds for the first time in days. She's let me had my time for sulking, I grant her that.

"But ma, one more day,"

No, you've had a week, get up, it's 6:30" she said, pointing at the door.

I groaned. Why's she waking me up at that time in the morning? I get up, put on black jeans and a black cropped hoody and go downstairs. I'm not bothering with make up. I then skip breakfast, I'm really not feeling it.

"Mum I'm ready,"

"Alright of you go then," she said gleefully as I rolled my eyes in reply. This day is going to be the worst.

Could someone just kill me already?

***

Everyone's staring at me. I can feel it. My hood is up and my earphones are plugged in. I look down to the floor. I just head to lesson, Geography. Sitting right at the back, I bring my chair back, making a loud noise which causes everyone to stare at me for a bit. I then put my legs on the table and my head moves a long with the music.

"Hey," I heard Alex say when he sat down. I smiled slightly then got on with doing my own thing. I don't think he realised I wasn't in the fucking mood.

"Haven't seen you or Cayden all week, you ok?" I felt like no was going to be sick when I heard his name. So he hasn't been in all week either. Fun times. Should have gone in. Thankfully, the teacher came in, stopping the conversation with Alex.

"Class-" I could feel her looking in my direction. "Leah James, how nice of you to finally come -" she was interrupted. By the man himself. I rolled my eyes. Fuck to the no.

"Hey miss," he said happily, walking to take a seat at the back next to Jamie.

"Did you miss me?" He asked her, she looked fuming as I tried to hold in a scoff.

"No. If you don't mind, I was talking to Leah," I saw him look round, trying to find where I was. I didn't move. I looked up to Miss.

"Were you? I mean, in order to talk to someone it has to be a two way conversation, and, as far as I remember, I wasn't talking," I retorted, without thinking.

There were a few 'ooooh' and 'she just got burnt,' going around the class along with some laughter.

She didn't even need to speak before I replied,

"Detention, room 26? Gotcha, see you soon ma'am," I saluted and the whole class laughed. Thank god I was out of that room. After what happened last week, I'm actually going to detention.

I open the door and wave to the teacher as I sat at the back. I saw Ryan and Adam, Charlie and Zac (that was Ryans group of friends, the populars,) in detention, staring at me. I glanced over and rolled my eyes.

"Take a picture, it lasts longer," I flipped my hair as I sat down.

I need to plan tonight. It's going to happen. It has to.  I bet Cayden and Chase have both forgotten that it is Zara's birthday today. I'm going to join her.

I felt a poke on my shoulder and looked up to see that the guys moved to sit on my table. I took one earphone out of my ear as I said,

"What?" To them, angrily. Ryan looked taken aback but the others thought nothing of it. 

"So what landed you in here?" Zac asked, he chose to sat opposite me.

"Just replied back to Miss Faggot in geography," I shrugged, her name isn't actually faggot btw, I just can't remember her actual name. But that seems to suit her. Zac nodded, saying something along the lines of fair enough.

"Where have you been all week?" Ryan asked.

Planning when to die, same old.

"Just at home, was ill," I say, he seemed unconvinced.

***

Chase's POV

***

"I'm back!" I said joyfully and I dropped my bag off. I couldn't be bothered to go back to my mum so I decided to go to Leah. I notice a piece of paper on the stairs.

Dear whoever it is reading this,

I'm not going to beat around the bush here, cos I cba to write right now. But, I want to see Zara, I miss her. I've got some cake incase anyone forgot it was her birthday.

I don't want to give reasons like any other suicidal note. Just this. Mum, I love you, and I'm sorry you've lost two daughters now and you have to put up with Chase. I love you so much. This isn't your fault, don't ever think that it was, okay?

Chase James, I'm sorry we couldn't grow up with each other like any other siblings, but when you came back, it's like no time had past. I love you so much.

Chloe amber, my best friend. I love you so much and I wish you and Jamie all the best.

Alex, I'm sure you'll find a girl sooner or later, just stop bugging everyone bout it yeah? You were my favourite one in the trio, don't tell the others ;)

Jamie if you hurt Chloe I will find your house and I will fucking haunt you for the rest of your life, got it?

Ryan Baxter, I love you to bits, I'm still not putting that video down on fb, it's staying there. Have fun trying to remove it.

I love you all so much,

Leah Victoria James xox

I ran around the house like a hopeless chicken, I couldn't see anything really as my eyes were on the verge of crying. I get to the kitchen and see her body, cold and frozen, I looked over to see pills on the floor.

Shit Leah!

"Is this 999?" I asked trying not to sound scared, or like I've been crying.

"Please come, my sister has attempted suicide,"

I love you sis.

A/N - some of the note isn't in italic, only because my phone is stupid and it wasn't working.

Just a side note,

Don't ever think about killing yourself, your life is precious, even if you don't think it is. People care about you, you deserve to be alive. Xox