Love You, Hate You, Miss You (Sequel to I'll Fight For You)

Chapter Fifteen

Lucy's P.O.V.

I refuse to use this BiPap machine. I might 'need' it but I don't want it. I hate it. It keeps me up at night. I hate feeling and being so helpless. So I will not use this machine.

"Lucy what the hell are you doing?" Dally asked outraged at me going to bed without my machine.

"I'm going to bed what does it look like?" I asked as if it was obvious.

"It looks like your trying to kill yourself!" He yelled.

"Dallas I'm not trying to kill myself! Why would you say that?"

"Listen I know you don't like using the BiPap machine but you need it! If you don't use it that's exactly what you're gonna do! You're gonna kill yourself!" He said.

Well maybe that's what I want! Maybe it'll take all the pain away! But of course I wasn't going to say that so I went with "Dallas I can't take it."

"You are so stubborn you know that?" He asked. He put his hands on my hips and brought his face close to mine. His lips were near my ear. I felt his warm breath on my neck and it sent chills down my spine.

"Please baby just use it for me?" He whispered in my ear.

"I'm sorry. I can't." I said.

He pulled away. "GODDAMMIT LUCY!" at first he shocked me.

"JUST USE THE DAMN MACHINE!"

"DALLAS!" I screamed back.

"Lucy please I can't loose you" I can't take it right now.

"I'm going to Sadie's. I can't stay here right now." I said and walked out.

"Lucy don't go!" I heard him call after me but it was too late.

I was stopped in the hallway by Dakota. She was standing outside her door. Her hair was messy from lying in bed and Dally's tee shirt she was wearing was down to her ankles. She was clutching the teddy bear she got the day she was born in one arm and rubbing her eye with the other.

"Mommy where are you going?" She asked.

"Mommy's just going out for a little while. You go back to bed honey. I love you" I kissed her forehead and tucked her back into bed.

I walked out of Dakotas room and the house and made my way to the Curtis' I walked through the door and the lights were off. I turned them to find Soda and Sadie cuddling on the couch.

When I turned the light on the both turned their heads in my direction. Sadie sat up. "Hey Lucy what's up?" She asked concern filling her voice.

"Dally and I had a fight. Can I stay here tonight?"

Sadie's P.O.V.

Darry is working late and Pony went out with Claire and Johnnycake so it was just me and Soda home tonight.

"Hey puddin' it's just me and you tonight what do ya wanna do?" Soda asked me.

"Let's cuddle." I said with a smile. Soda sat on the couch and I lied with my head on his chest and my arms wrapped around his waist.

"Are you sure all you wanna do is cuddle?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes I am sure mister" I said poking him. He laughed and kissed the top of my head.

"Darn"

I smacked his chest. Not hard but hard enough to get point across. Soda let out a dramatic *uff* sound.

"Awe come on don't be a baby" I laughed.

"I've been shot!" He cried.

I laughed shaking my head. "Too dramatic for your own good"

"What can I say I had a good teacher" he winked.

After that we just stayed there in that position until. Lucy came over. The lights were off since it had gotten dark and neither of us bothered to get up and turn the light in the living room on.

Lucy looked tired and worn out, but she looked like that most of the time now.

I sat up. "Hey Lucy what's up?" I asked concerned.

"Dally and I had a fight. Can I stay here tonight?" She asked.

"Of course you can." I said getting up off the couch. I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her in a warm hug.

"Here honey come upstairs. We can talk up there." I said.

"Hey what about me?" Soda asked.

"Soda do you mind sleeping with Pony tonight? Or on the couch? Lucy and I have some things to talk about." I said.

He looked like he was going to say something but before he could I said "girl things"

After that he piped down. Last time he convinced me to let him in on one of our girl chats he looked traumatized by the end.

"Come on Luce" we made our way upstairs and sat on my bed.

"Sadie I just don't know anymore." She said.

"What did you guys argue about?" I asked her.

She sighed. "You're gonna say the same thing he did."

"Maybe not. Just tell me." I pushed.

"I refuse to use my BiPap machine. And before you say anything let me explain. I can't take it. I can't handle feeling so helpless all the time. It's killing me." She said.

"Lucy I get where you're coming from but I have to agree with Dally on this one. You need that machine. Not using it is what's killing you." I said.

"SADIE I'M NOT GOING TO ARGUE WITH YOU ON THIS!" She screeched.

"LUCY ENOUGH OF THIS! STOP BEING SO STUBBORN! YOU NEED THAT MACHINE! IF YOU WANNA LIVE!" I yelled right back.

"Sadie please, I need you right now. I already lost Dally I can't loose you too" she was pleading now. She looked defeated.

"Lucy, you haven't lost anybody. We all love you to pieces. Please, Lucy, just try to use the BiPap machine. Please." I begged.

"Alright. But I still don't like the idea of it." She said.

I smiled. "Thank you."

She yawned. "I'm tired"

"Let's go to bed." I said. She nodded her head and crawled into bed next to me.

"Sweet dreams"