Finding Father

Chapter 20- No More Secrets

The rest of the Christmas holidays went by quickly and soon I found myself getting caught up in the whirlwind of people and classes again. With all my free time over break, I spent a lot of time practicing spells and when Flitwick's classes picked back up, I no longer sucked at charms. This made me very happy.

Macy came back from holidays with stories of her seemingly hilarious family and we laughed in the library until the librarian told us to be quiet. My particular favorite story was when her uncle apparently irreversibly turned their Christmas turkey into a large, living, goose. It was quickly contained, not after stepping in the gravy, however, and seven adult wizards could not turn it back into their turkey dinner. I laughed every time I thought about Macy telling me about it for weeks afterword.

Currently, I'm standing in Potions class, furiously trying to fix an antidote that I'm sure I have ruined.

"Professor, I'm not sure what to do to fix this," I finally say, shamefully admitting defeat. Snape comes over to my table.

"Add essence of wormwood and stir until it thickens, you're not nearly as bad off as you seem to think," he says drily. He stays to watch as I drop in some of the wormwood and start stirring.

"Perfect," he says stoutly, and turns away to other students.

"Why on earth is he so nice to you?" asks Macy wildly from next to me. "If I asked for help, he'd kill me!" I only shrug.

"I guess I just did an okay job and I'm good at potions in general..." I let my voice trickle off and ignore the look Macy gives me because we both know Snape isn't nice and helpful to anybody for just that. I avoid her glances for the rest of class.

My antidote turns out perfectly.

I leave Potions class and head to the library; Potions is my last class on Thursdays. I find a secluded corner and sit down to do my Astronomy and Transfiguration homework. Professor McGonagall is expecting an 8 inch essay on the theory of transfiguration on living subjects. I'm not able to work on my own for very long, however.

"Avery, there are exactly two places to find you. The library or your common room. If you want to avoid me, at least I can't immediately get into your common room." Macy slaps her bag down on the table across from me and plops into a chair.

"Well, I wasn't trying to avoid you," I say irritably. "I just had homework."

"Yeah, but we always do homework together and you practically bolted after class." I can't deny that. I sigh.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to leave you behind, not really. I guess I was leaving everyone behind."

"Why?"

"Because."

"You're so stubborn."

"Thanks."

"Seriously," Macy groans, getting fed up with me. "What's up? Why are you acting like this? And Potions class was so weird, I want to know why about that too."

"It not important," I mutter.

"Well, obviously it is," Macy says angrily. "I'm your best friend. We tell each other everything." Before I can't stop her, she stands up and says,

"Come find me when you're ready to treat me like a real friend."

Macy storms off. I stare after her, then lay my arms and my head on the table, covering up my essay. I hold back tears and finally lift my head, pick up my quill, and shakily continue to write.

**************

The next few days are hell. Macy and I aren't speaking. I won't tell her about Snape or anything, and she won't talk until I do.

Friday is only bearable because we're still in class all day. I don't have to talk to her in class if I try hard enough. On Saturday, there's a quidditch match between Slytherin and Hufflepuff. I don't cheer for either side, but Hufflepuff pulls out a win with their brilliant seeker, Cedric Diggory, catching the snitch with just the right timing.

Sunday morning, I make up my mind.

After breakfast, I march over to the Hufflepuff table, right to Macy. I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Come with me," I say. She glances at me, surprised, but leaves the rest of her breakfast and gets up. I walk ahead of her, not saying anything until we're out in the courtyard. I perch myself inside one of the large stone archway windows, and Macy pulls herself up to sit and face me.

"What in Merlin's beard is going on with you?" She asks.

"I swear to- to, well, Merlin, if you tell anybody about this, I'm ruined. I'm unfortunately not proud of this and neither is anyone else involved and you can't spread it around the school." Macy looks slightly horrified, but nods mutely.

"So I grew up alone with just my mum, right? You know all that," I say. She nods again.

"So, my father got. . . in contact with me recently. Like, around the first week of school." I word everything as carefully as possible. "And, I'm having trouble, like, getting to know him, I guess? And getting along with him. But it's getting better," I add quickly. Macy frowns.

"So, who is he? Do you like him? And why has he found you now?"

"Well," I say, "I can answer all of those by telling you, my father- he- he's Professor Snape." Macy's eyebrows shoot up and her jaw drops.

"What?!" she nearly shouts. "How the-?" I look around frantically, but nobody's here still.

"Good grief, keep it down. But, I know. It's weird."

"It explains a lot, I suppose," Macy says awkwardly. "So, what's it like? How has he been?"

"We've got so much to work through," I reply. "But it's getting better. He's not the easiest person to get close to."

"Yeah. Makes sense," she says quietly. "Wow. Well, I'm glad you're not on your own, at least, with- with your mom and everything."

"Me too."

"So, you don't want anyone to know? I mean I guess I can see why, but. . ."

"No. Honestly, he and I just need our privacy to figure ourselves and everything else out," I tell her.

"Of course. You know, at least he's treating you well. Like, as well as he probably can." Macy smiles a bit.

"Yeah. I'm glad. It's weird, he's trying really hard to be a good person with me but he's not really sure how, and it's sweet how he's trying. I can't believe I'm warming up to him."

"That's so good though!" Macy grins. "No offense, but I don't think I'll ever get along with me. It's so awesome that you can, though, given the circumstances."

"Yep," I say. "It would be a lot harder if we weren't finally getting along."