Crumbling Hearts and Shattered Minds

Chapter 5: Abusive Fathers And Broken Mirrors

Authors note: I am extremely mean to Damon in this chapter. There is also self hate and self harm in this chapter I'm sorry if I offend anyone and I suggest not reading if either of these things anger you. I promise it'll turn out well :) I just have to put Damon through (more) hell first. Again. I'm sorry if anything in this chapter angers you.

Damon POV

I had to admit.

Almost everyone I knew, standing in the parlor brooding, did spike my curiosity and I probably would have asked what was up with them.

until I saw my father standing behind Stefan, grinning at me as if he knew something I didn't.

At that point I didn't want to talk to anyone.

So I went to what I hoped was the safety of my room.

It turns out that this wasn't my day for being right.

As I closed the door to my room, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

But no heart beat.

So I figured it was Stefan.

I was wrong again.

The door opened, but it sure as hell wasn't Stefan.

It was Giuseppe, coming to make my life a living hell yet again.

"So what? Now you're hiding? You're more pathetic than I thought" he said with a distasteful scowl as he closed the door behind him.

"Can't you just leave me alone? What the fuck have I done to you. I mean, Stefan's the one who killed you. Actually. Don't go near Stefan, or I'll find a way to bring you back, and kill you myself this time." I said pointedly. Though I figured he'd ignore my warning.

"You have no need to concern yourself with your brother. He's not the one who has so many failures and blame stacked up against him that he's starting to go mad." Giuseppe replied coolly.

"Why now? Of all times that I've failed. Why choose now to haunt me?" I asked hesitantly.

"This is the straw that broke the camels back, so to say. All these little things that happened. All the guilt that you felt. It was all wearing on your mind. Until it started to manifest itself in the forms of your greatest failures and biggest regrets." Giuseppe stated in a tone that made it sound as if he was telling a joke.

At this point, I chose to retreat again. I started walking swiftly to my bathroom and stood in front of the sink, with my hands on the edge on either side and my head bowed. I felt as though I was going to puke at the realization of how fucked up I was. I lifted my head and looked in the mirror, and couldn't help but to hate what I saw looking back. That's when Giuseppe chose to reappear behind me.

"It only makes sense that you hate yourself. I mean, everyone else hates you. You're just a faithful guard dog to all of the people down stairs. You're weak and pathetic. Always have been. That's why Stefan betrayed you. He didn't want you holding him back any longer. He couldn't stand to look at you. And you killed people of whatever town he was in just to get his attention. You're needy. You'll always need your brother." Giuseppe said, ravishing in the pained look I had on my face.

I was watching him in the mirror. I wanted to run and cover my ears. But I couldn't. I needed to hear what he was saying. My body refused to listen to me.

"But guess what. He doesn't need you. He doesn't want you. You would have been better off if you stayed dead. Everyone and everything would have been better off."

At this point I had no control. My grip was iron on the sink counter. And tears were endlessly streaming down my face. What he was saying was true. I believed him. And Giuseppe saw this.

"It's not too late you know. To end it. To end the pain. The sun will rise in the morning. And that ring of yours can come off. The question is; will you have the guts to do it? Or are you gonna run away, like you always do?" Giuseppe said in a deceptively soft tone. I didn't want to listen anymore. I couldn't. But I was frozen, looking in the glass.

So I did the only thing I could do. I released my grip on the counter and put my fist into the mirror. The glass shattered easily around my hand, and all the pieces came falling down. The pain from where the glass had cut me brought me back to what was real, and Giuseppe was gone.

For a moment.

"What good did you think that would do?" He asked. Though he looked worried that I had noticed what the pain did. And I did.

"You're not real. But pain. That is." With that I bent down and picked up a sharp piece of glass

"oh come on! Do you honestly think that'll work?" Giuseppe asked, though his nervousness was evident.

"I hope this is the last I see of you." I said, and with that, I dragged the glass across my wrist. Giuseppe vanished.

But I had a new problem. The glass had gone too deep and I was loosing too much blood. I needed to replace the lost blood with some from the blood-bags in the cooler. Which was downstairs. Crap. I could barely stand up by this point. I grabbed the hand towel that was next to the sink and pressed it to my wrist, trying to save my blood supply for the tedious journey ahead.

"One step at a time, Damon, one step at a time." Great. Now I was talking to myself.

I made it as far as the top of the stairs before I fell. And falling down the old oak stairs, hurt like a bitch. That was when everyone noticed. I heard a few gasps, then some foot steps rushing towards me, then everything went dark.

authors note: i told you I was mean to Damon :( it honestly pained me to write this chapter. But I knew Damon had to get worse before he can recover. If you still want to read, I'll be happy to continue writing.