Crumbling Hearts and Shattered Minds

Chapter 9: Now I Wish I Could Just Kill Him Again

Stefan POV

The soup was done cooking and I was taking it off the burner and putting it into a bowl when Alaric called out. As soon as he said Damon was panicking, I rushed into the parlor.

Damon was sitting like he was before, except now he was hunched over with his head bowed and his arms rapped around himself. Little gasps that he was making told me that he was having a panic attack.

Damon used to have them all the time when we were little. I'm guessing from being beaten ad losing our mom when he was little.

So I knew what to do.

Or at least I knew what used to work when Damon and I were little.

Whenever Damon is put in a 'flight or fight' situation he will always chose the later one. So I learned that I should try and clam him down and make sure he knows I'm on his side. I learned from experience that a violent, panicking, Damon is very dangerous.

That's when I decided to use the 'younger brother' card to my advantage.

I moved so I was kneeling in front of my brother, then I slowly placed my hands one either side of his face, and moved his head up so his face was to me. Tears streaked down my brothers face.

My heart clenched.

How could I be so foolish to believe that after everything, Damon was fine? I mentally kicked myself for not noticing my brother's pain. I had been selfish. But I was going to make it up to him no matter what.

I started wiping away the tears with my thumbs because I couldn't stand how they looked on my strong brother. Because It doesn't matter that he's crying.

He was strong for so long before this.

Not just for himself.

He was also strong for me.

That's why my brother had all ways been my hero. That's why he still is.

I hadn't realized I was talking until I was pleading him to open his eyes. When they still weren't open, I asked again.

This time putting all the emotion I could muster into my voice.

"Please, Damon." I said one last time. I was still rubbing his cheeks with my thumbs when he blinked his eyes open.

They looked more deep blue than usual, still moist with fresh tears.

It took him three minutes to get his breathing under control, and through out the whole time, his gaze never left mine.

I was relieved, because that meant that Giuseppe wasn't taunting him at the moment.

Though it didn't mean he still wasn't affecting Damon.

Because the damage had been done. Giuseppe had gotten what he wanted; Damon alone and broken.

And it was evident in Damon's expression, on his face, in his voice, in every move he made.

It broke me into a million pieces to see Damon like this, it made my chest constrict and my heart ache.

I used to regret killing my father. But ever since I found out what he used to do to Damon, I've hated him, and the only regret I have about his death is that I can't kill him again.

I knew that I had to make sure Damon knew he wasn't alone. So that's exactly what I told him.

"You're not alone, Damon." As soon as I said it, I saw tears brim his eyes again. I pulled him into a hug and wouldn't let go even if the world depended on it.

Damon's body shook in silent sobs, his hands fisted in the front of my shirt. I absently ran my hand through his hair and rubbed his back until he couldn't cry anymore.

That was when I sat him back up, but I didn't let go of his shoulders.

"Are you still hungry or do you want to go lay down?" I asked while watching his expression carefully.

He forced a smile.

"I could eat."

I studied his expression for a few moments before getting up and I paused and faced the group.

"Why don't you all go home? I can take care of Damon." I said, though I knew some would insist on staying.

"I'm staying." Alaric said stubbornly.

I sighed.

Then I caved.

"Okay, Rick, you can take one of the many bedrooms upstairs. Anyone else?" Everyone but Rick shook there head.

They all looked frightened and shook up from Damon's panic attack. I nodded and headed towards the kitchen.

I reheated the soup and put into a bowl.

As I was walking to the parlor with the soup, I heard the front door shut.

"Everyone gone?" I asked Rick.

"Yup" he said simply from his spot on the couch next to Damon.

I moved to sit on Damon's other side and placed the soup on the table in front of him.

"How you feeling?" I asked as I sat back and trained my gaze on my brother.

"I'm fine, right now. It seems to come and go. But it's always unpredictable." He said whilst leaning back and returning my gaze.

That's when it struck me.

"I know! God! I'm so stupid! Why didn't I think of this before?" I exclaimed while standing up.

Alaric and Damon exchanged a look.

"I thought Damon was the one that's going crazy." Alaric said.

I rolled my eyes.

"Come on. Both of you pack up for a walk. We're going on a little hike to a very secluded spot that I know." I said while turning, not telling them anymore of my plan.

It was perfect.

It provided Damon a distraction and it gave me a chance to bond with my brother.