Crumbling Hearts and Shattered Minds

Chapter 8: Everyone Else Is Breathing Why Aren't I?

Damon POV

I was getting a major headache. Between trying to figure out why the hell everyone decided to be nice to me now and trying to ignore Giuseppe, I couldn't separate one thought from another.

So I tried blocking out both.

Guess how well that worked out.

Caroline was going for the pillow fluffing world record, Elena was playing therapist, Rick kept giving me sympathetic looks (whether its because I'm losing my mind or because of Elena, I had no idea) Jeremy was trying to distract Elena, Tyler was pacing, and chef Stefan still hadn't made an appearance.

So I sat there, surrounded, and playing my favorite songs over and over in my head until I knew I'd had them stuck there for at least a month.

In that one moment I was distracted, Giuseppe was finally able to get to me.

"They are only being nice to you because your helpless. They are just taking you in like they would do for a stray dog. And once you get better, they're just going to put you down. All they are doing is delaying the inevitable. They are only doing this so they don't feel any guilt when you're gone. They don't care. They don't even bother pretending to. But you pretend. You're always pretending. Well, soon enough, you'll be dead, you won't have to pretend and they will be better off. They all know it. Stefan knows it. And soon enough. It'll be just you and me again. My disgrace of a son." He said with a sneer evident in his voice.

I flicked my gaze over to him, and sure enough, his mouth was caught between being a sneer and a smirk.

He was facing me and not paying any attention to the rest of the room.

I took a deep breath.

But it didn't work.

It felt like I was drowning. But what made it worse was that when I looked around, everyone else was breathing so easily.

Mocking me.

My chest made it feel like I had been shot again. My head was spinning and my stomach was doing somersaults.

Alaric noticed all this.

"Hey, Damon, buddy. You have to breathe. I know you're a vampire, but it's still in your anatomy to have to breathe!" Rick said as he came and sat next to me and started rubbing soothing circles on my back. But it still wasn't working.

I couldn't breathe and I started choking in little hiccups. My eyes blurred and tears started streaming down my face. All of my senses shut down except for my hearing.

"Stefan! Damon's panicking! You have to come here!" I heard Rick's voice call out. But I saw nothing. Just black.

I heard the shuffling of feet and knew that everyone was now standing and backing away.

Of course they backed away.

They didn't want anything to do with this.

They didn't want anything to do with me.

I heard foot steps approach and the hand Rick had on my back was now gone. I was about to panic more than I already was, but then I heard Stefan.

"Damon! Damon, listen to me. Only me. You have to calm down. Damon, you can do this! We can do this! Just listen. I'm going to help you. I'm going to help and protect you like all the times you've done it for me. But I'm new to all this, and not as good at it as you are, so you're going have to help me out." Stefan's hands were now on either side of my face. His thumbs gently wiping away the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.

"C'mon Damon. I know you can do this. You're strong. You've always been strong. You just have to stay strong until I can find someway to help you. Please, Damon, open your eyes."

It was only then that I realized I had been squeezing them shut.

"Please, Damon." I hear my brother plea again.

When we were little, I had never been able to deny him anything when he used that voice, that all little brothers seemed to have.

I guess things really haven't changed as much since then.

I opened my eyes to see Stefan kneeling in front of me, hands still on my face, thumbs still wiping at the tears, brow furrowed, concerned gaze studying my face.

It was only then that I sucked in air greedily. My breath still came out as gasps, but the burning in my chest subsided.

Once I had my breathing under control, I didn't feel sad or angry. I just felt numb. That was until my brother spoke.

"You're not alone, Damon" those few simple words sent me tumbling over the edge again.

A sob escaped me, but as soon as it did, Stefan was there, pulling me into a hug. I looked beyond his shoulder and saw everyone else in the room watching us. I hid my face in Stefan's shoulder an started sobbing uncontrollably.

Not because I was happy that Stefan had said that.

Not by a long shot.

But because I knew Stefan was wrong.

I was alone.

Completely and utterly alone.