all things forgotten//all things never said

dissociation

**trigger warning**

~

dissociation took everything from me.

trust me when i say,
this isn't pretty.

~

t

hings were so wrong.

are so wrong.

everything wrongwrongwrong.

so wrong feelings were forgotten.

so wrong nothing seems real.

i cannot feel a single thing in my chest.

not one thing.

i fake with my eyes.

pretend to light up.

pretend to show being down.

((that's getting harder.))

crying is just a reaction to too much for my mind.

but i can't feel it.

it's a dead cry.

pretending to care.

trying to cling to things i cared about before.

i can't even love correctly.

but i know in my head.

i know i love.

i just can't feel the love.

my hope is one day,

someday,

i won't have to pretend..

and real light

will make me feel again.

~

it's like...

you look at your hand.

and your mind repeatedly tells you how not yours it is.

it's just a web of bones covered in flesh.

you are not a part of it.

you look at your thighs and they are miles away.

not yours.

not yours.

found the hack to third person view irl!

being thrown from your body so violently or plain forcefully.

- 'i didn't want this.'

'too bad.' -

and nobody sees.

and nobody cares.

you're in a room or hall filled with people.

--somewhere in a crowd.

but you feel zoomed out.

you are zoomed out.

like everything is slow motion but normal pace.