CHAPTER 4

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MACKAYLA

My eyes fluttered open focusing on the tiled white ceiling above me. I groaned, head groggy as my vision finally cleared up. A persistent beeping was infesting its way into my head allowing the quiet, dull throb to become a bellowing migraine. I groaned again and tried to lift my arm up to massage my pounding temple but my movement was halted by an IV sticking out of my arm. My breathing began to increase as a panic attack slowly appeared on the horizon. The beeping got louder and faster, steadily increasing as my panic grew,

"Mac, Mac calm down it's OK you're in the medical ward you're OK, please relax," the soothing voice of my brother filled my ears, "Concentrate on your breathing, in, out, in, out." I listened to his words and pleaded my body to give in. It eventually backed down and the beeping started to slow down. I looked into his grey eyes, laced with concern as a glossy layer began to rise up over the strongholds of his lower eyelid, a tear trickling down his unshaven skin. He let out a sigh of relief and pulled me into his embrace, his face nuzzling the many scars that littered my neck. I flinched as the memories crashed through my body. A whimper left my lips as I prepared to feel the familiar twinge of pain in my neck. Luke quickly pulled away realising what he had done wrong. Another tear began to roll down his cheek but he turned away. I opened my mouth to apologise when the door swung open. My head snapped in the direction of the noise but I got distracted by the pain in my neck. I whimpered again and shut my eyes willing the pain to go away,

"Try not to move so fast, you've got a lot of stitches and I don't want any of them to rip." The soft voice of Maddie called from across the room,

"Can turn the monitor off, the one that's beeping? It's really loud." I whispered back, hoping she would hear me. She nodded and stepped across the small room, pressed a few buttons and turned the beeping off. I smiled gratefully and she returned it with a small smile,

"How are you feeling Mackayla?" She asked softly,

"I'm alright and you can call me Mac if you want. My neck hurts but..." Luke stood up abruptly, causing the chair to fall over and stormed out the room, the door slamming behind him,

LUKE

I ran my hands through my hair once again, waiting for my twin sister to wake up. I sighed and closed my eyes, I hadn't slept or shaved in days. Suddenly, the heart monitor sped up and my head snapped up towards the sound. Mackayla was awake in the bed staring at the IV in her arm and clearly panicking,

"Mac, Mac calm down it's OK you're in the medical ward you're OK, please relax. Concentrate on your breathing, in, out, in, out." She slowly began to calm down and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. I stared into her eyes for a moment and felt a tear fall down my face. I quickly pulled her into my embrace and nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck. I only realised what I had done when I felt the rough texture of her scars on my face and I heard her whimper. I quickly pulled away and looked into her eyes once more. The once sparkling grey was dull and bleak, holding no signs of hope for her future. I felt another tear slowly begin to crawl down my face and I turned away, not wanting her to see me cry. The door swung open and Maddie stood there. Mackayla must have turned in that direction as she whimpered,

"Try not to move so fast, you've got a lot of stitches and I don't want any of them to rip." Maddie's voice travelled across the room. I could hear them talking but I didn't take any of it in. She must think I'm so weak. I'm nearly 19 and I'm crying uncontrollably. I highly doubt the team will respect me anymore. They'll probably call for a new leader. The thought brought more tears to my eyes, I'm not willing to lose everything I've worked for. I can't take this anymore. I stood up and stormed out the room, leaving Maddie and my sister in the cold sterile room.

MACKAYLA

"Luke, wait!" Maddie called and followed after him leaving me alone in the sterile white room. Tears began to pool in my eyes, he regrets saving me. I'm such a hassle. What was I thinking when I thought that he would still love me? Who would love me? I'm broken, shattered, unable to be fixed. The door opened again and I sat up, praying that it would be my brother but was disappointed when I was met by Maddie's slender frame,

"Oh, it's you." I muttered, thinking she wouldn't hear me,

"Well I'm hurt; I have to say. I thought we were friends." She gasped placing a hand on her heart and for the first time in a few years, I smiled. Maddie smiled as well as she joked around, "You have a nice smile, you should use it more often." I blushed and smiled again at the compliment, I haven't had a sincere one in years. We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes until Maddie broke the silence, "Your brother really cares for you,"

"What do you mean?" I asked her, puzzled by her earlier statement,

"Luke, he never cries. He is such a strong person both physically and emotionally. He will never cry over anything. I mean if a member of the team dies, he's upset but he won't cry. You saw in the consulting room earlier; he was in floods of tears. He thinks crying makes him seem weak and he can't be weak because he's the leader of the team. He's crying again now, that's why he stormed out, he didn't want you to see him cry. Every time they went to a camp, he searched for you, for three years and every time he never found you. When they got back he would go to the gym and spend hours hitting the punching bag. He's broken a lot of them, in fact he's broken most of them. He's broken most of the mirrors in the training room at least once."

"I don't care if he cries, I just want to spend time with him. I haven't seen him for three years and he's changed so much. I just want to get to know him again." I replied head in my hands,

"Then go talk to him, he's sat outside the room. There are chairs outside the room so make sure you sit down, but talk to him." I mouthed thank you to her and made my way slowly out the room. As Maddie said, he was sitting in one of the old leather chairs situated outside the room. He didn't seem to notice me standing in the doorway so I made my way over to him and wrapped my arms around him from behind,

"I don't care if you cry. I haven't seen you for three years. I want to see each and every moment. I want to see you laugh, cry, get angry, I don't care I just want to know you again. Maddie told me everything, from the searching and the punching bags. Crying doesn't make you weak, it shows you feel empathy for others and makes you a better person. We all need to cry sometimes and that doesn't make you weak, I promise you." He slowly began to melt into my embrace and hugged me back. When we pulled away, I began to wipe away his tears with the pad of my thumb and he nuzzled his head into my hand,

"I'm sorry I didn't find you faster." He mumbled

"That doesn't matter because you've got me now and that is never going to change, I'm never going to leave you. I promise." I told him,

"You've got us as well Luke, everyone in this school is here for you. Well maybe except from George, he's a bit creepy," Adalynn joked as she watched our embrace. I felt a smile creep onto my face and looked at Luke to see him smiling softly as well, "We aren't going to judge you if you cry, we're always going to be there to support you through anything and everything that you do."

"Mac I know you've met Adalynn but I don't know if you knew she is my girlfriend. I just wanted to let you know just so you weren't shocked." I nodded and smiled at the love filling his tearful grey eyes. It shone like a beacon of light in the darkness, she was the star in the grey oasis,

"And I will always be here for you so don't think you can get away from me." Adalynn joked,

"Forever and always?" Luke said with a smile on his face, tear tracks staining his cheeks,

"Forever and always." Adalynn confirmed, a smile finding its way onto her face. I smiled at the moment and didn't realised the door had opened,

"Ugh you two are disgusting, come on Mac I won't judge you if you want to get away from them." Maddie's head was round the door and was watching the embrace with a look of disgust etched into her features. We all let out a small laugh, "Mackayla, you alright to come back in here? I've got a couple more tests I want to run." I nodded and slowly limped towards the medical room.

'mso-spaceruX

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