Chapter Nine

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The music coming from the car radio starts to dampen my thoughts.  Highway one is mildly busy at Nine pm. I'm nearly at Zoeys house and my heart is jumping out of my chest. What the actual fuck is wrong with me. 

I find myself knocking on her door. She opens the door and awful rock music pours out of the door. "Come in El, we can have a few drinks." she says. I tell myself to say no to the drinks. Say no to the drinks, you're already high. 

She brings me vodka mixed with some other drink that i would rather not know. I down it. She offers me another, but i find the strength to decline. 

She leads me to her living room and we sit there and i listen to her talk about life for what seems like hours, but only a few minutes have passed. 

I begin to slide closer to her. Scoot over Zoey, please tell me no. She allows me to do so. She touches my arm. I allow it. I move the hair from her face, she lets me do so. Her eyes meet mine and i don't look away. 

We both go in for the kiss at the same time. A messy drunk kiss that is mixed with lip biting and indirect tongue jabs. My brain screams "Push me away Zoey, tell me i have a loving boyfriend. Tell me this is wrong."

She doesn't though  and neither do I. My left hand rests in her blonde hair and my other hand pulls her onto my lap. We're doing this my way Zoey. 

She pauses and slightly moans "I want you miss Ells, have you ever been with a girl?" "Of course i have.." I lie. 

Tell me you don't like me like that Zoey, tell me i'm ugly and that you could do better. 

My hands are doing the opposite of what my brain wants. I'm undoing her shirt and she's slipping off my dress. I'm undoing her bra and she's kissing my neck. Her bra falls to the floor and my lips start at her neck and move to her breasts.

Kissing turns to biting and before i even notice, she's moaning. I continue moving down her body and i land on the zipper of her shorty shorts. I quickly undo them with my teeth. 

I struggle to get the impossible jeans off of her, but i eventually succeed. 

She's wearing a bright green thong. I could have probably guessed this color, it's so typical. I'm too lazy to slide them down so i rip them off. The tearing material reveals her soaking pussy. 

 I snap out of this animal like haze i'm in. What am i doing. Why am i here. What the fuck. 

Her lips are still on mine, Her hands are down my panties. Her nails are harsh and it feels unfamiliar.

I need to get out now. 

I gently push her away and tell her that i'm going to get something. I go and grab a bottle of vodka and hand it to her. 

We begin passing it back and forth. Except she's the only one drinking. It's about fifteen minutes till she's passed out. 

I run for the door and speed back to the hotel room. 

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When i get back to the hotel room, i find Alex still sleeping and i feel relieved. 

I slump against the wall and the tears rush from my eyes. I don't deserve him, not even one bit. My eye liner fades down my face and i probably look like trash at this point. 

I slowly drift off into a sleep that seems as shitty as my day. 

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The fall of something wakes me. "fuck" he says. I open my eyes slowly and the light floods through.  

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