Broken Into New.

Chapter Eleven

I flip page upon page. Some pages I stay on longer than others, some I only quickly glance and then flip. The glossy unbook like pages slip from my fingers and it frustrates me beyond what it should. I feel like tossing the magazine across the room, but of course that would be very misbehaved of me. Plus it would make front page news, I could just see it now, "Elvira Ells new model has her first breakdown in front of the public eye".

Anger evaporates off of me and turns to sarcasm. I put the magazine back on the shelf with the others that are similar to it. All filled with hairstyles, from short hair to long hair, Blonde to blue, Thick to thin, these books have it all.

The girl with the canosa hair motions me to come over and follow her. She takes me to a washing sink and starts washing my ugly red hair. She talks of her life and how her boyfriend is the cutest person she ever met. She doesn't mention personality, just his looks. I feel bad for her to look at life like that, strictly basing everything off of a cover.

She finishes washing the soap out of my hair and leads me to her chair. She steps back and examines my hair. It's awful, but I didn't think it was "stare at me for what seems like thirty minutes bad". I pick up eye contact with her in the mirror and ask "can you fix it?" She smiles and nearly laughs "Of course I can."

She cuts my hair and then begins smearing different dyes on my hair. I like the length she cut it to. It stops right below my ears and gives me a playful look. She makes me rinse the dye off and then she blow dry's my hair. The color begins to slowly show up as my hair dry's.

It's a rose gold with a red undertone. It's beautiful and so much better than the harsh red that it was before.

I walk in the front door of our apartment and sneak around the corner to catch a view of the living room. Alex is sitting on the couch with papers scattered on the coffee table in front of him. Deep in though he doesn't even notice me, oh right, I did sneak in.

I come behind him and wrap my arms around him and kiss is cheek. "How was work babe?" I coo. He shifts his attention from the paperwork to me. "It was good; I just had to bring some work home." He says while twirling my hair through his fingers. "I got it dyed" I answer his unspoken question. "How was your day though?" he asks with a smile. "It was boring; there was no modeling to be done. So I did almost nothing all day. Then my manager told me to get my hair dyed differently, so I did."

He shuffles the papers into a pile and puts them back into a file marked with writing I can't read. He lays it on the kitchen table, in its neat glory. He takes a seat next to me on the couch and I slowly curl up next to him. The thought of perfection comes to me, but perfection would be this in winter time, so we could be under a blanket.

We decide on some kind of movie that I have no interest in, not that I don't like movies, I just have no energy or patience for a movie. Alex watches in contentment, while I slowly lose grip on the present. I drift back to when I was younger and playing in my backyard. Laughing and running around, carefree, a happy dream one would assume.

The laughing makes my stomach turn and the world being so innocent and happy burn my mind. I want to wake up; I don't want to see this anymore. Nothing bad happened that day, but this memory hurts worse than the unhappy ones.

I wake up and the sun shocks my eyes. I squint and close them fully before attempting to open them again. I look around and find an empty room. The clock reads 6:12 am, but it feels like two am.

I have the most boring life that I ever thought I would have. Everything is too perfect, or maybe it's not perfect enough?

I pick up my book and begin reading. The words flow like rivers in my mind. They possess me and give me new outlooks on life. The ordeal starts as one page, but quickly turns into near one hundred. Before I see the time pass, I'm already on the last page. Some books make you laugh, some make you cry, but some change your view on life. Before I fall defiantly was the latter.

I look at the clock once again and see that it is now 8:33. I get up and walk into the bedroom. Alex is fast asleep; he looks very peaceful as always. I go over to the closet and pick something to wear. I settle on a black dress that is slightly baggy, but still flattering.

I strip my clothes off from yesterday and grab a pair of new underwear and a bra. They don't match, but I don't really care today. I slip the black dress over them and look in the mirror at the other side of the room.

In the corner of my eye I see Alex looking at me. When I turn around he closes his eyes again and pretends to sleep. Maybe he was doing this the whole time? I walk over to the bed and kiss his forehead." I say good morning babe, I gotta go to work." When I walk away I whisper just so that he can hear "it's a shame he wasn't awake, I was going to make his morning. "

I exit the room with a silent laugh. Games, I like playing them, but I most enjoy winning them. I grab a water bottle from the kitchen and find my purse that I couldn't find very well. I then slip on a pair of heels and I'm out the door.

There are two cars in our driveway. One is brown and one is red, the red is mine. I bought it a few days ago and am still in love. I climb in the heat swallows me whole. Damn California heat. I turn the key and begin to drive. It only takes five minutes to get to my job, but with traffic it takes ten. This is the morning when it takes ten. Damn California traffic.

Fifteen minutes later I pull into the boring parking lot that is home to the gray building. I step out of the car and nearly break my ankle. Damn heels. I half limp the rest of the way to the front doors. The air conditioning hits me when I walk in the door and makes me shiver.

I look over to the front desk to check who resides there today. Once again it is a different lady. I swear they don't keep the same people at that desk longer than a day. It's beyond weird, but I push it aside and walk to where I was told to. Once again I'm back to the manager's office. The three desks have not changed. The three people are still sitting at them and they all greet me warmly.

The taller man, which I don't remember his name, tells me that this month has been very promising for my career. "Elvira, these shoots that you have been doing are low level. You could be doing something much better for your career and something better for our company as well." The shorter man says.

"And what would be better than photo shoots?" I say in slight shock. "Well we were thinking about a possible commercial deal" The taller man says to the other two. "A commercial deal?" I croak. "yes" the shorter man says.

I sit there in shock, for a loss of words. I say "sure" in a shaky tone. I shake hands with all of them and leave the room. I make it to my car and savor the silence.

I don't want to do more than photos. I most defiantly do not want to be on tv. It's dumb, but I have this fear of being on tv. I don't know why, but I just do.

I really don't work enough because I am so bored. Yes, I am complaining about not being busy. I have two friends so far so why not text them both to see if they want to have a girls day out? "Siri text Miya and Zoey, wanna hang out today?" I nearly yell at my phone.

They both text back that they are as bored as I am. So I drive out of the parking lot and head over to the restaurant they agreed on.