Broken Into New.

Chapter Ten

It's nearly seven pm when i finally look up from my book. 

My surroundings are one thing i haven't noticed much. I didn't even realize that i'm sitting on a bench on the side of a busy side walk. People pass by me and walk by as if i don't exist. 

The pages fly by as well as the time, I am fully engulfed in this book. I don't even hear my phone buzzing on repeat. Well i tried not to. I pick up my iPhone and see that there are at least eight missed calls from Alex. 

I quickly call him back and say i'll be home in fifteen minutes, or back to the hotel rather. I walk quickly, quicker than i should in these heels. 

My legs lead me to the door of our hotel room and i walk in. The sight i walk into shifts my heart into a flop. He sits at the end of the bed with his forehead in his hands. He's not crying, but i can see the pain, the hurt, the tantalization in his eyes. 

He looks up at me, but the pain stays with no release. He doesn't get up nor say a word. I just walk up to him and sit in front of him. What seems to be hours of silence passes, yet the clock on the wall only shows three minutes since i sat. 

He breaks the silence and says "god dammit Elvira." 

The three words wound me more than i will ever care to explain. It's an amazing recollection how different three word phrases can give so many different feelings.

We both fall into silence again, both with our heads in our hands, separate from each other, almost worlds apart, but i'm the only one crying. 

We both wallow in sorrow alone, even for me this is a new way to hurt. Knowing there is nothing you can make to better the other person is the most helpless i have felt. 

"I'm sorry" I blurt out in attempt to destroy the deafening silence. He looks up with his broken eyes and something about him looks more broken than I ever was. "What are you sorry for Elvira? I'm the one who always messes everything up. I'm the one who didn't even talk to you this morning after last night. I'm sorry if i made you feel unwanted." he says with great pain. 

Yep, i defiantly don't deserve this creature in any edge of the world. He's too good for this world, too pure, too kind, and way too sorry for the little thing he did. I fake a smile and bring my hand to his chin to encourage him to look at me. " I had a bad day and so did you, let's forget about it. I'm not upset about it at all, we all have our moments." 

I lay a soft and forgiving kiss upon his lips, mostly this is my apology, he just doesn't know it yet. I hope that when he finds out what i did last night, he leaves me, because he would never forgive himself for forgiving me.

I think at this point i'm sitting on his lap. I don't think i have been this physically close to anyone ever. His arms are wrapped around me so tight, almost like he might lose me if he lets me breathe. I'm okay with this though, it's the best I've felt all day. 

I stray away from is lips and trail kisses down his jaw, neck , and eventually back to his lips. I have no sexual intent though, just strictly love filled. 

 Eventually we both shift onto the bed, but we remain intertwined. We both drift off into the dark edges of life, but i believe it was him before I. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I toss and turn. The clock says 3:00 Am, then 3:34, then 4:18, then 4:33. I finally become restless enough and discontinue my chase of sleep. 

I walk into the bathroom and stare at the mirror, or rather the woman in the mirror. I want to smash her to pieces, she truly is too stupid for her own good. The longer i stare the more that feeling subsides. 

I get a glass of water and go to search for my book. I find the paged artwork at the bottom of my purse and decide upon reading the rest. I lay on my side of the bed and slip my reading glasses on. The sun is shining into our room now so i no longer need a light. 

The words surround me with vengeance, lust, serenity, and most of all love.  Her words push me to find myself in her very own story. I read until i can no longer bare to see another page turned. 

That's when i get up and start another day. I grab my phone and put some music on, i don't really care what plays; it could be a piano solo for all i care. I put my hair into some kind of bun that may be just a messy pony tail. I wipe my smeared makeup off my face and brush my teeth.

I dig to the bottom of my suit case and find a pair of yoga pants and an over sized t-shirt. I top it all off with a pair of random sneakers. I head for the door, but i turn around and search for paper and a pen. When i find them i write.

~

Dear Alex

I'm going for a run. I'll be back before you even have time to miss me.

Love,

Elvira  

~

I head out the door and the morning humidity hits me like a train. I push through and begin running at a decent pace. I mustn't go too far because i have to run back. I run till the air burns my lungs and i can no longer push on. I can no longer say "one more block, then i'll rest."

I begin to walk back in the direction of the hotel, but i have nothing left in me to walk. I push on and on. I refuse to even think of giving up. 

The cramp in my rib cage now pulls me down and threatens to roll me into a ball. I ignore it's requests for relief and begin running again. I find myself running faster than i had before and i'm back at the hotel before the sun fully makes an appearance.  

I struggle to unlock the old door. It fights me with great force until i put all my power into the key. It forfeits and i fall into the room. 

In one swift swing i'm back on my feet, limping to the table. "Fuck you" I mumble to the door that I now refer to as bitch. 

I grab my phone and text the blonde bimbo that had shown me that apartment the other day. I tell her that we will take the apartment and that i can sign the papers today. She texts back "K", of course she does, typical. Fucking bitch.

I go back and lay on the bed and snuggle up to Alex as closely as i can. I whisper "You're my world" and kiss his forehead. I find the will and need to sleep. 

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Authors note,

I can not even believe it has already been ten chapters!! I never really planned to take this idea this far, but i have had much joy pouring my emotions into this writing. I'm currently going back and editing chapters as i see fit. some chapters are better than others and for that i apologize. I hope you guys enjoy the next ten chapters.

LV