You were the first who I
Ever thought I might have loved.
The first time I couldn't
Shove down the feeling;
The first time I loved you
Even though I hated you.
Like others that passed away,
Forgotten parts of my childhood -
And I thought you were too -
I'm terrified to realize that
Some things aren't in the past
And that you're still there.
My old emotions cling to me
Like ghosts that know me well.
And now I've come to wonder
If anything I've felt since then
Has been real or if i've still,
Somehow, been loving you.
Time and time again I've come
To let go of sparks that have
Come and gone since you
Made your indifference clear.
They've always seemed to drift off
So why are you still here?
I'm not sure I realized how much
I still loved you until I was home;
Back in our old town where I
Buried all my childish emotions -
but now they're all dug up and
I'm buried beneath the weight.
