Half Empty (COMPLETE)

18. Alive

So I know many of you must think I died or something because I haven't updated in two years. I've been close to death and life has had it's ups and downs, but I've kicked death in the balls and have returned to Wattpad with the inspiration to FINISH THIS STORY. There's a little treat for all you in this chapter. I may have to change the rating later. The video is the song Caleb and Rayne are listening to in the car. ;)

Caleb's POV 

Rayne was alive. He was really alive. I was kissing him and I could feel his warmth beneath me as his lips molded into mine. I only stopped kissing him when I felt a gentle tug on my shirt. I looked up into his beautiful eyes that were sparkling with so much life, and also concern.

"Caleb, you're crying."

I touched my cheek gently. He was right. I was crying. I didn't even realize it. 

"I'm sorry Rayne, I'm so sorry. I should've been stronger. I should've protected you. I should have forced you to live with me when Kyle was doing all of those horrible things to you. I'm so stupid. I just love you so much, and I almost lost you today. Rayne, I thought I lost you. I thought you died, and all I could think about the entire time was how much I don't deserve you. How I might not ever see you again. Can you ever forgive me?" I begged.

 This entire day had taken me through a rollercoaster of emotions and I could feel myself finally breaking. I was tired and all I wanted was Rayne by my side. Images of Kyle hurting Rayne kept running through my mind. Thoughts of how useless I was. I was so weak.

The feeling of Rayne's hand wiping my tears away was the only thing that interrupted my thoughts.

"It's not your fault Caleb. Kyle, he was sick and no one expected he would do something like this."

That's when I remembered. Kyle was dead. Rayne didn't know yet.

"Rayne, there's something you should know."

"What?" He said. He looked tired and pale, he must have lost a lot of blood.

"Kyle, he didn't make it." I said quietly. I was relieved that the bastard was gone, but I understood that although Kyle was an evil shit to Rayne; Rayne still cared about him because that's just how Rayne is.

"He's dead?" Rayne said.

I just nodded.

"I killed him." Rayne said looking away. This time he was the one crying.

'What? No! Rayne, you didn't have a choice. He was trying to kill us!"

"I understand that. I just hate myself right now because I killed him and I don't regret it. I don't regret it because if I didn't stab him he would have killed you. Am I a bad person?"He was sobbing now. He sounded so broken and his voice sounded so small.

I pulled Rayne into a hug. "You could never be a bad person. Ever."

"You say that, but none of this would have happened if I didn't stop speaking. None of this would have happened if I had just told someone what happened to me-- when they-- when--"

I was rubbing Rayne's back trying to calm him down. He was losing it. 

"Shhh, Rayne. It's okay. It's going to be okay."

"No!" He said trying to push me off of him, but I just held him tighter.

He was breathing really fast. He was obviously traumatized and now wasn't a good time for him to talk about anything he wasn't ready for.

"Rayne you don't have to-"

"I was raped." He choked out in the quietest voice, that I barely heard what he said. But I did hear it. I heard it and the amount of anger that exploded inside me towards the bastard that had done this was barely containable. I only contained it in order to give Rayne the chance to say what he had been too afraid to say for five years.