You don't own me

Part 9

Author's note:

I feel like we are getting closer to the end...maybe two or three more parts ;) Feel free to tell me your opinion 

His hands began to move again. Just as you wished he continued the massage.

"Baekhyun", you spoke up, "Did Chanyeol kill Junmyeon?"

Baekhyun's face was serious. "No. But he surely will need some weeks to recover."

That took a load off your mind. Not because of Junmyeon. But you just didn't wanted to have another person's death on your shoulders. How selfish we are in some ways...

"Baekhyun", you waited till he looked at you before continuing, "This job. This life. This...Everything. How are doing all that and don't have any remorse at the end of the day?"

His expression changed to something unreadable. Did I angered him? Some time passed without a respond so you were sure he wouldn't answer at all.

"I mean you are so young! You should not have so much anger in you that you want to kill someone! Especially when you know that this person surely is the child of someone or maybe even a parent himself?!", you questioned further.

"If you do something for all your life, things lose their gravity. As I said before I didn't choose this path. It was already decided by other people and with my birth it was set." You sucked in some air. This was the saddest thing you have ever heard.

"I'm sorry", was the only thing you could mumble.

"Don't be", he smiled a little, "It is something you get used too."

The following hush was beyond awkward. There were so many questions swirling between you two.

You gulped before finally gathering a little courage to speak again: "I guess I still yield you thanks for...you know...earlier", you beated around the bush, "So umm...Thank you. Truely. You saved me and I owe you my life. Maybe I could make it up one day." You showed him a shy smile. He looked at you with his dark eyes before his movements stopped and his hands fell from your shoulders to your hips. At one go he pulled you closer so you were nearly straddling him. His hands stayed on your lower back and his hug tightened.

"I'm going to protect you from now on. With all my strength. Because Y/N, I do meant what I said earlier", his words felt heavy. You opened your mouth to respond but there weren't any words coming out.

"You know...", one hand loosened out of the grasp and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, "I never confessed to anyone before." Your heart skipped a beat at the sudden contact.

"I can't let you go right now", he was barely whispering. He had leaned in so his forhead was against yours. "I know up until now you have only expressed feelings towards me that are the total opposite to mine. To you I'm probably a monster or something similar. I know I should not have any hope at all. But when you smile at me like this. I-I-I can't help myself. I get the feeling there might be a little chance for us. And as long as I still got this glimmer of hope I just cannot allow you to leave me. Because I just need a little more time to show you I'm more then my job. I can do better. For you. For us. Do you understand me?"

With your lips only inches apart of his it felt hard to think. Is this real?
You nodded absently.

"I'm glad then." He pulled back and immediately you missed the warmth. "Off to bed with you". He laughed out loud. Gone was all the seriousness. "Or should I carry you?", he poked you playfully. You winced and quickly got up.