Her Greatest Regret I The Sister Series

Prologue

"Why?!" April screeched, throwing her hands up in frustration.

"You know exactly why." I respond, shoving the pile of clothes which sat on my bed into the duffel bag.

"Look, just give it a day. They'll -"

I cut her of with a glare. "Really? You think so?? You think that he's going to stop loving her in a day?"

She opens her mouth but I shake my head and let out a sigh, "I have to go, Ap."

She clenches her fists and grits her teeth. I ignore her as I zip my duffel bag shut. Grabbing the photo frame on my night stand I undo the back, taking out the photo and slipping it into my wallet carefully. I grab my worn baseball cap from the side of my bed, refusing to think about all the memories linked to it as I shove it on my head. If I leave this place with one thing, it's got to be this hat. I sit on the edge of my bead, slip my feet into my combat boots and tie them up.

I can feel April's eyes on my as I rush to my desk but I ignore her. I pull out the first object that I see. A wedding ring. Tears fill my eyes and a lump forms in my throat. Taking in a shaky breath I undo the clasp of the necklace that I'm wearing and slip the chain through the ring, before linking the chain again. I look at the rest of the objects in the draw with longing. I want to take them. I need them. All of them. But I can't, I know that. They'll be back soon.

I let out a shaky sigh and grab the pair of keys. One key chain, two keys and three key rings. You don't have the time to be sentimental I warn myself, shoving the bundle into my pocket. With one final look at the opened draw in front of me, I turn to April, closing it with my hand but not turning to see what I've done.

"That's it?" She whispers, her voice hoarse and full of emotion.

I nod, unable to bring myself to talk. She takes a step towards me and I do the same. We meet in the middle and I slip my arms around her, holding her tightly. I can tell from her tight grip she doesn't want me to go.

"I hate you." She says, so softly that I wouldn't have heard if I wasn't standing this close to her.

I don't respond. Instead I bury my nose it her hair and take in her smell. I memorise her arms wrapped around me - my grip on her tightens as tears fill my eyes.

Taking in a deep breath of her, I move away slowly. She doesn't let me. I awkwardly tilt my head so that I can see hers. She holds me tightly. I place a kiss in her hair. Her grip doesn't loosen.

"Mum wouldn't want this." She finally sobs.

The lump in my throat gets bigger as I reach behind to unwrap her arms from around me. She's crying now and I want to do nothing more then wrap my arms around her and stay with her forever. But I can't.

I reach out to touch her face, wiping her tears and ignoring my own.

"I love you." I whisper.

She cries harder as I guide her to my bed and sit her down.

I remain standing as she looks up to me, her eyes ful of fresh tears. I shake my head.

"I love you, April." I repeat, hating the way my voice cracks when I say her name.

"Love you more, May." She whispers, looking as broken as I feel.

That's enough to send me running. I place a soft kiss on her forehead, grab my duffel bag and I'm out of the door. I don't spare a glance at my sister, my room or my house. I can't. Not now, it's too late to turn back.

I ignore the heart wrenching sobs that come from my sister. I ignore the tears that are dripping from my own face. I ignore the thoughts that are flying through my head, making me dizzy.

Instead I focus on the other side. I don't allow my self to think as I cross the garden. My breathing speeds up and it's getting difficult to take in oxygen but I don't stop; I don't stop as I run through the field behind my house. I don't stop to think. I keep moving - I run.

[Above picture is of May Abney, aged 18]