when we were young -phan

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TRIGGER WARNINGS: homophobic slurs, sexual assault, rape, physical and verbal abuse. This whole chapter is a trigger warning so please do NOT read if you are triggered by anything above.

"Dan what color are you going to get?" Carrie asked Dan, while she held two in her hand trying to choose one.

"Erm I think I'm gonna do either a black or lilac color," Dan sighed, getting frustrated with himself for not being able to choose.

"You should get the done black and then your ring finger nails could be lilac?" Louise piped in, picking out a sparkly pink color that went with her dress. Dan raised his head and smiled at her, nodding to let her know it was a good idea.

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"Hey guys?" Dan asked after they  finished getting their nails done. The were sat outside the nail salon trying to get a hold of the rest of the group.

"Yeah Dan, what's wrong?" Carrie asked, now looking extremely worried.

"I-I erm, I think I l-like Phil," Dan stuttered out, keeping is head hung low.

"Well duh Dan," Louise said, laughing really loudly. Dan looked up to see Carrie's mouth had dropped wide open.

"Dan oh my god! I was not expecting that!" Carrie managed to get out as she ran up to him and pulled him into a tight hug. Dan awkwardly hugged back, trying to hide a fearful smile about what he just did.

"Dan?" Louise snapped him back to reality.

"Are you going to tell him?" Carrie chirped in, staring Dan directly in the eyes, making his anxiety soar through the roof.

"No of course n-not. H-he'll hate m-me," Dan protested, starting to feel tears well up in his eyes.

"Erm, Dan he won't hate you. Even if he doesn't feel the same way, it doesn't mean he'll just never talk to you," Louise explained, only making Dan feel worse.

Trigger Warning for the rest of the chapter!!!

'Jeremy hates you now. I wonder why?'

"I h-have to g-go to the restr-room. Text me w-where to meet f-for l-lunch," dan mumbled quickly before running off to find somewhere he could be alone. He made it about a few shops down before he bumped into someone, sending himself to the floor.

"Hey what the hell!?" a familiar male voice yelled in frustration.

"I'm s-so s-s-sorry!" Dan apologized, standing up to see who he ran into.

"Oh it's you, you little faggot," Jeremy whispered as he pulled Dan around the corner towards the restrooms.

"OW! Y-you're h-hurting m-me," Dan whisper yelled, trying to avoid as much attention as possible.

"That's the fucking point," Jeremy said through gritted teeth. He continued to drag Dan along with him until they found a handicap bathroom he was able to lock. Dan was pushed against the wall. He tried to hold back his tears, but failed.

"You know Dan, when you kissed me years ago, I liked you. So fucking much, but I couldn't otherwise my dad would've beat the shit out of me. You made me miserable because I had the opportunity to have something I wanted for once in my god damn life, but I wasn't allowed to have because of my father. You made me realize that I'm gay and that isn't right in my family. Seeing you around school everyday makes me so fucking angry because I still like you so fucking much. I'm pretty confident to say that I'm in love with you," Jeremy ranted, raising his hands so they were pinned to the wall near Dan's head.